All My Days
by bec1001
Summary: In the five years since Summer left Seth and Rhode Island, her life has gone a drastically different direction than anyone would have expected. Can Seth help her find her way back again, or will she live out a life of pain, struggle, and loneliness?
1. Someone Else's Life

A/N: I hope you'll all enjoy this new Seth-and-Summer-centric story, titled "All of My Days" after the amazing Alexi Murdoch song. It will have 12 chapters, I think. They are mostly already written and I hope you like where the story goes. It has been almost a year since the end of The O.C., but I am hopeful that there are still readers and writers out there who are up for reading stories like this one and writing reviews! It takes place in the future, and will explain what has happened in the time that has passed for Seth and Summer. Each chapter will be titled after a song that I think works, and this one is "Someone Else's Life" by Joshua Radin. So here goes. Please read, please review, and please enjoy. Thanks.

SOMEONE ELSE'S LIFE

"How do you know this isn't what I want, Seth?" Summer demanded into her cell phone as she dashed around her tiny apartment, making sure that her daughter Audrey's toys were put away and that everything was in order. Marcus would be over in any minute, and he would flip if the apartment wasn't spotless, and the last thing she needed at the moment was to make him angry.

"Because you always seem so busy and frustrated and unhappy," Seth protested, knowing that this could upset her further but also knowing that her lifestyle couldn't be good for her. Summer didn't respond. "Sum?"

"Sorry, I'm trying to load the dishwasher," she replied breathlessly, putting the pile of cracked bowls she had in her hand down to adjust the phone, which was cradled between her ear and shoulder. "Can I call you back?"

"Sure, fine," Seth sighed. "Tonight?"

"Tomorrow," Summer corrected apologetically, knowing he would be disappointed and frustrated. "Marcus is coming over. I don't know how long he'll stay."

Seth slapped the pile of papers he was faxing onto the desk in his office, pissed at Summer's willingness to go along with whatever Marcus wanted, her willingness to forget everything to please him. "Fine, Summer."

"Please don't be angry, Seth," Summer pleaded with him. He hated when she did that, used that begging tone. She was better than that, he needed her to know that. But she'd changed, and their lives were so different now. "Please."

"I'll talk to you tomorrow," Seth said quietly, not wanting to argue with her anymore. "Night, Sum."

"Night, Seth," she whispered back, slowly closing the phone and placing it on the tiny kitchen table. Rather, a folding table she'd made into the kitchen table. She sat down on the living room sofa slowly and sighed, leaning back into its comfort. She was never alone and she was even less often able to sit down for a moment. Between her two jobs, her four-year-old daughter, and Marcus, there was barely any time for anything for herself, and barely any time to sleep. She was perpetually exhausted, worn out, and weak.

Summer found herself snapped out of the two-minute nap she'd fallen into by the repeated sound of the doorbell. She quickly rushed to the door, knowing that the longer she kept him waiting, the angrier Marcus would be.

"Hey," she smiled at him nervously, allowing him to enter the apartment though he'd have pushed in if she hadn't. He didn't respond to her greeting.

"Let's make this quick," he snapped, loosening and yanking off his tie and looping it over the doorknob of the bedroom. "I have an event to go to tonight." Summer nodded and followed him. "Is the girl here?" Marcus asked coldly as he entered the bedroom, Summer behind him.

"No, she's with the sitter I found her," Summer began to explain.

"Did I ask who she was with?" He remarked bitterly. He glanced at Summer. "No. And I don't care, either."

"I'm sorry—" Summer attempted, but before she could finish her sentence, Marcus slapped her across the face roughly. She bit her lip and didn't speak as he removed his suit jacket and pants, left in only his crisp white button-down shirt and plaid boxers, and pushed her onto the bed, so he was on top of her, in power, in control.

Summer knew the routine well enough. Marcus had, after all, been coming over for this for five years. Five long years. Summer could still remember that day when he'd come home with her after seeing her dancing at Luna Chicks, where she'd managed to procure and keep a job as a stripper for a little over five years. Marcus, along with a whole group of middle-aged Hollywood bigwigs, had shown up at the nightclub and had wanted more than what his similarly middle-aged and once-beautiful wife could give him. And Summer, struggling for money and support in LA, eagerly gave him what he wanted. He helped her financially, and she helped him in—well, other ways. Several months after the trysts began, Summer found herself pregnant, and he agreed to give her child support as long as nobody ever found out about his affair or the child.

And that was how Summer found herself as a twenty-six year old single mother, a waitress by day and stripper by night, supporting herself and her daughter only by the money Marcus gave her—Marcus, the man who refused to give her and their daughter anything but that cash they needed to survive. That was how she found herself being forced to straddle 54-year-old Marcus on her crappy mattress in her crappy apartment, giving him a lap dance, grinding against him, as he kissed her fervently and hit or pushed her when she didn't comply with his every sexual need or want. When she paused for breath, he yanked her by the hair closer to him, and tears burned in her eyes. But they always did. She was used to that.

Finally, as he squeezed her breasts violently one last time, so hard that Summer knew they'd become shades of blue-purple, to match her face and arms and legs, by morning. And then Marcus got up without a word, redressed, and exited the apartment. It was 5:30, and it was time for Marcus to accompany his wife to a Hollywood charity benefit, not unlike the ones Summer had once attended. And it was time for Summer to put on fishnets and pumps, an obscenely short skirt, and a halter top, plaster concealer to the parts of her body Marcus had marred, and to drive to Luna Chicks for her shift.

Lives had changed. People had changed. And things were different than they once had been.

…

Summer patted the last layers of cover-up over the bruising region over her left temple and cheekbone before tying the belt of her robe a little tighter, protectively, as she sat on a stool behind the curtain at Luna Chicks. She was supposed to go out there in five minutes, and she was just biding her time before her excruciating routine would begin. She picked up her cell phone, deciding to dial in for voice mail while she waited.

As soon as she heard his voice, she couldn't help but smile. "Hey, Sum, it's Cohen. Listen, it's been a while, and I have to come into LA for business anyway. If you'll see me, I'd love to grab coffee or lunch with you. Just call me back, when you get a chance, okay?" Summer erased the message and sighed. When she arrived home, she'd have to go to sleep immediately to make it through another grueling day, so she might as well call him back now. She needed to hear his voice, too. It was one of the only comforts she had left in her life. Her daughter and the phone calls with Cohen, they were what kept her going.

"Sum!" He said into the phone, his voice a mixture of happiness and surprise.

"Hey," she replied. She loved how he made her feel cherished, wanted, appreciated. He made her feel like she mattered, like he enjoyed their conversations. No one else in her life had done that for a long time, made her feel that way. "I got your message."

"When can I see you?" He asked hopefully.

"I don't know, Cohen, I'm just so busy…" she trailed off, biting her lip as she noticed Kurt, the ruthless money-obsessed club manager, glaring at her. She knew she would be going on stage in a few minutes.

"Please, Sum? I just—I miss you," Seth admitted. He heard her sigh. He knew how difficult her life was, how precious time was to her. But he needed to see her. Needed to help her. He could tell that things were only getting worse for her.

"I know, I miss you too," she said, smiling, unable to lie to him, and Seth could hear her smile and he was happy that he had been able to make her do that. She smiled so rarely, had so little fun or time for herself. That was his goal during their phone calls: make her smile, make her laugh, make her feel loved. There wasn't much else he knew how to do. "When can you come?"

"Whenever you need me," Seth promised. She knew that if she asked him to be there in ten minutes, he'd be there in five; that wherever she was or whatever she needed, he would be there for her however he could. Their relationship had ended long ago, but their emotional connection and the love they had for one another was everlasting. It was engrained in Seth's mind that he would do anything for her, and when he reiterated this to the girl he had lost, she couldn't help but smile and blush and love him even more. Seth thought for a moment before responding to her question. "Tomorrow?"

"Oh, Seth," Summer moaned. "I want to, so badly, but tomorrow I don't even have the sitter, so I have to have Audrey at the diner with me after her day care ends in the afternoon, and—"

"Don't say another word," Seth cut in. "I can take her."

"I can't ask you to do that," Summer replied quickly. "I'm sorry, but I won't let you."

"Please?" Seth asked. "It would be my pleasure. Really."

"Drive to LA to babysit your ex's daughter?" Summer laughed lightly. "Seth, it's too much, honestly."

"You know you're more than an ex to me," Seth replied, and Summer was touched by how cute his words were. She blushed on the other end of the phone, and Seth could sense her blushing. They were completely in tune with one another. "What time can I meet you?"

Summer sighed, knowing him and his determination and that he wouldn't give up. "I was going to pick her up at her day care during my lunch break at two, and bring her back to just sit at a booth, but—"

"How about I pick her up a little earlier, and Audrey and I can bring you some lunch, and we can hang out, the three of us, during your lunch break?" Seth proposed.

Summer smiled. "It's too much, Cohen, but if you really want to…"

"I get to hang out with Audrey and see you, of course I want to," Seth told her, in that adorable way of his. "Are you a sandwich fan or a pizza fan these days? Or something else?"

Summer thought back to what she'd eaten that day. A bowl of cereal early that morning with Audrey—Lucky Charms, because that was the only thing Audrey would eat in the morning and because Summer was not interested in spending their limited income on multiple boxes of cereal. Two cups of coffee, to mask her tired yawns. Some french fries during her lunch break. Some more coffee and half a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich Audrey hadn't finished before heading over to Luna Chicks. "I'm a fan of anything," Summer promised. "Thank you."

"Of course," Seth responded. "So how—"

"Seth, I have to go," she whispered as Kurt approached. "I have to—"

"Sum, the stripping? Again? Seriously—"

She hung up on Seth right before Kurt snatched her cell phone from her, and she tucked it safely into her bag, before crossing her arms over her chest and shivering. Kurt gave her a little shove towards the stage entrance and she followed suit, waiting for the announcer to alert the club patrons of the next performer.

"See you soon," Summer said softly, both to herself and to Seth, all the way in Newport, as she wished she was anywhere but where she was, wished she was someone else, in some other life, without the exhausting days and frustrations that kept her tied to hers.

She made it through the painful routines that evening, swirling around a pole provocatively, writhing on the ground, allowing her dignity to escape her body and fly away. She kept her mind on Seth, and the happiness in his voice when he picked up the phone and heard her on the other end, just like she always did when she was in pain, and somehow she made it through. As she slithered down the stage steps and began to grind in the lap of a scummy, balding pervert, she allowed the happy memories of a past life in Newport, and the assurance that she would see Seth the next day, to infiltrate her memory, and with every sexualized movement, her mind floated to Seth Cohen, and she wondered what he would think if she saw her in that moment, wondered what he think if he really saw, if he really knew, what had become of the life of a girl who had once had so much promise and so many dreams. 


	2. Where I Stood

A/N: Thank you for the reviews! I am feeling really good about this story, and please don't hesitate to share your thoughts, positive or negative. I'll try to update a little sooner the next time around. The song for this chapter is "Where I Stood" by Missy Higgins. So here goes.

WHERE I STOOD

"Hey, baby," Summer crooned as she touched Audrey's smooth cheek a little before seven the next morning. "Wake up, honey." Audrey's eyelids fluttered and she sat up quickly in surprise in her little-girl bed with its slightly ragged pink blanket.

"It's already morning?" She asked brightly, making Summer laugh. Her heart melted with her overwhelming love for her four-year-old. "Can I have some—"

"Lucky Charms?" Summer laughed. "Of course."

Audrey smiled happily and got out of bed, shoving her pink blanket out of the way, to put clothes on for the day. "Mommy, I have no more clean socks!" She blurted as soon as she opened her dresser drawer.

Summer frowned when she inspected Audrey's dresser and found the little girl's words to be true. The Laundromat around the corner from their apartment that she'd been using had recently upped its prices, and each week she put off doing the wash for as long as possible. Now that would be another thing to do later. "Okay, honey, why don't you wear your sandals today?" Summer pointed towards the little sandals she'd found Audrey the last summer.

Audrey attempted to wedge her feet into the shoes, but it was obvious that they were too small. She looked up to her mother frowning. Summer's heart broke for her little daughter. She couldn't even afford shoes that fit, she couldn't manage to do the laundry regularly enough, she couldn't even maintain a lifestyle she'd be content with for her daughter. Summer thought back to her own childhood, where multiple housekeepers would clean and do all the laundry, and her mother had always come home with bags and bags of designer clothes for her little Summer.

But her own mother had left her, Summer reasoned with herself, like she always did when she compared her own childhood to Audrey's when she was feeling inadequate. Her own mother hadn't even made it to see Summer enter high school. But Summer would be there for Audrey forever, no matter what. She breathed again, knowing that she would have done away with all of her expensive dresses when she was younger, if only her mother had stayed, if only her mother hadn't left her when she was thirteen, needing her most.

"You'll have to wear them for today," Summer apologized, as Audrey nodded and squeezed her toes into the shoes, buckling them. "We'll get you some new ones soon. And I'll do the laundry tonight."

"Sorry, Mommy," Audrey said sorrowfully.

"There's nothing to be sorry for," Summer said sternly, lifting Audrey's chin to look into her baby's eyes. This was not the way her daughter was going to grow up, ashamed. That was something Summer could not let burden her baby. "Okay?"

"Okay," Audrey nodded, and ran into the kitchen for her Lucky Charms.

"Oh, Aud," Summer said, as they ate their breakfasts. "Seth is going to pick you up from day care today, alright? And bring you back to the diner."

"Seth?" Audrey exclaimed excitedly. Though she rarely saw her mother's old friend, his silly behavior and the amount of attention he paid her made him a favorite in her eyes."Yay!"

Summer smiled happily when she saw how enthralled her daughter was with Seth. "It's time to go now, sweetheart."

Audrey nodded, running to get her jacket, which Summer realized clashed horribly with her too-small sandals. But there was no caring about that now. Summer hadn't minded mismatched clothes in a long time. The former fashionista now cared about bargains and efficiency, and prided herself not for sprees at Dolce & Gabbana but for finding slightly stained or ripped items that she could argue with salesclerks over to reduce their prices.

At two, six hours after her shift at Lucille's Diner had begun, Summer noticed Seth, holding Audrey's hand, enter the establishment, looking for her. She quickly untied her uniform apron and hung it on a hook in the employee room, but her half-hour lunch break wasn't worth changing out of the itchy uniform pink and white striped dress with its poofy skirt and starched white collar. She rushed over to Seth and Audrey as fast as the similarly required and similarly incredibly uncomfortable white patent leather pumps could carry her.

"Sum!" Seth exclaimed as she approached, letting her fall into his arms, hugging her tightly, wrapping his arms around her, making her feel as if everything was alright in that moment. He noticed how thin she'd gotten but enjoyed the feeling of her next to him, loving being there and being there for her.

"Hey, Aud," Summer said, hugging her daughter when she and Seth broke apart.

"Hi, Mommy!" Audrey grinned.

"Want to go outside so you can eat?" Seth asked Summer, slightly concerned at the looks of the inside of the diner.

"Sure," Summer agreed. She waved down another waitress to alert her that she was taking her break, and took off the heels in favor of a pair of reliable, well-worn flats. She followed Seth and Audrey out of the diner and towards the small park down the street, where Audrey immediately abandoned Seth and Summer for the sandbox.

"We weren't sure what you wanted," Seth explained, taking several foil-wrapped sandwiches out of a paper bag, "So we have options. Turkey, chicken, roast beef, and tuna."

Summer was touched by his gesture. "Oh, Seth, thank you. That's so sweet."

Seth laughed. "Mainly I was trying to avoid rage blackout."

Summer began to unwrap a sandwich, smiling at him. "You know, I'm not even annoyed by that comment. I think I missed you too much."

Seth grinned. "I missed you too, Sum. The phone isn't the same."

"But you're here now," Summer said. She bit into the sandwich. "And thank you, again. You really helped out with Audrey, and, of course, it is really great to see you."

"I'm happy to do it," Seth promised. "The Newport Group can't maintain my interest for a whole day."

Summer smiled sadly. So he wasn't doing what he loved, either. "How is it going?"

"Fine, I guess. It's not like I can really tell. I wasn't really trained to do this kind of work."

Summer nodded towards the diner. "Tell me about it."

He laughed hesitantly, and she smiled. He paused, looking her up and down. Her dark hair was pulled into a manageable ponytail, her face was pale and worn but still as beautiful as it always had been. He had always loved her when she'd been natural, carefree. "How are you? Really?"

"Everything's okay," Summer said, less enthusiastically, swallowing a bite of sandwich. "Audrey's growing up, and everything's just…pretty good."

"How's Marcus?" Seth continued, although by the changing look in Summer's eyes it was clear she did not want to go this direction. Though all he wanted was to make her happy, Seth also knew that there was something going on that Summer wasn't telling him fully.

"Fine," she said coldly.

"And you're still liking LA?" Seth asked.

"It's not Newport," Summer explained. "But it's good enough for now."

"Why don't you move back?" Seth inquired, his mind wheels working rapidly.

Summer laughed at him. "To Newport?"

"Yeah!" Seth replied enthusiastically. "You could see me more, and everyone else, and Audrey's going to go to school soon and she could go to Harbor, and—"

"Seth," Summer said, snapping him out of his ramble. "I can't afford paying for Audrey to go to Harbor, let alone renting an apartment in Newport. Even Alex's old place cost far more than I'm paying right now."

Seth bit his lip. "I could help you out, you know that, right? If you ever need anything?"

"I know, Cohen," Summer nodded, although she would never ask him for money. She had too much pride, too much determination, to do that. With Marcus, at least she felt like the money was deserved. She was raising their daughter, even though he refused to acknowledge that he was Audrey's father. And she was giving him what he wanted of her. "I know."

"Can't I do anything?" Seth pleaded. "I just hate how you're doing this to yourself."

"Doing what?" Summer asked angrily.

"Working two jobs! Barely being around for Audrey! Not giving yourself any time to breathe!" Seth exclaimed.

Summer's eyes narrowed. "I am a perfectly good mother for Audrey."

"I never said that," Seth said, his own eyes widening at how she'd interpreted his words. He knew this was the subject Summer was most sensitive about. He should have known not to say that. "I didn't mean for it to sound like that. I just meant--"

"Well, that's how it sounded!" Summer snapped, cutting him off sharply. She placed the three-quarters of the sandwich that she hadn't eaten down on the bench next to Seth. "Look, it was nice seeing you. I should get back to work."

"Summer, wait!" Seth protested, following her as she marched towards the sandbox. Summer stood Audrey up and began brushing off the disgusting playground sand that covered her daughter. "Sum! I didn't mean for it to come off like that!"

Summer ignored him and walked back towards the diner, dragging Audrey alongside her. Seth watched her in the window, setting up Audrey in a booth near the back and sliding on those painful shoes and that apron again. He could see the straggly graying manager yelling at her for a few minutes while she nodded subserviently before she began hurrying around the restaurant, stacking heavy dishes into bins and toting them around. Seth hated seeing her like this, so weak, so much less than he knew she had the potential to be. He had always believed—as well as Summer, he was sure—that she would become a fashion designer or a magazine editor or something else equally glamorous. More than that, he had thought that they'd get married. That they'd be in Newport, together, that they'd go on romantic dates at the Arches and they'd have a big wedding on the beach and they'd hang out with Ryan and Marissa, just like old times.

But when their sophomore year of college came around, and Seth was supposed to go to RISD, Brown called Summer, officially expelling her after the incident with the bunnies and the other events Che had blamed her for. She'd lived in Newport, bored and frustrated, as she and Seth tried to maintain some semblance of a long-distance relationship. She fiercely hated that Seth was going out and partying in Rhode Island, calling her less frequently than she would have liked, and she hated above all else that he'd befriended Anna Stern while he was on the East Coast. Seth suggested she move out to live with him, and she did, but it only aggravated the situation more. She was restless, and they'd broken up right after Seth turned 21 at the very beginning of his senior year. Summer had moved to LA, and Seth hadn't heard from her until he graduated and moved back to Newport to take over the Newport Group when he hadn't gotten any of the comic book related jobs he'd always wanted.

They'd become close again, then, and Seth had met a then-newborn Audrey. They talked on the phone constantly, and at the beginning, when Summer had had the time, they'd emailed back and forth too. Seth occasionally came to visit—never at home, they'd always meet out somewhere—but Summer discouraged him from doing so, though besides her embarrassment he'd never known why. He knew about Marcus and the nature of his relationship with Summer, but not of the abuse or the pain that Summer had suffered for so many years. He hated the whole situation, but Summer never let him help, financially or otherwise, so he depended on their phone calls to reach her, talk to her, make her feel better. It was the only way he could.

So he hated watching her bend over painfully in her pumps to scrub some assholes' crusted-over ketchup off a table in the diner. He hated watching her hoist a bin of dirty dishes and struggle with it back and forth from the kitchen. He hated watching her be screamed at by irritating customers, fellow waitresses, and the diner's manager. Seth yearned to do more, to help her more, to figure out a way to make everything he was seeing go away.

But there was nothing more he could do at the moment. Seth walked back to his car, thinking of what he would do, and concocting a plan.

…

"Bye, Audrey," Summer whispered when the babysitter's door shut, leaving Summer to turn around, drive home, and relax for the little time she had until she had to head over to Luna Chicks. Her shift at the diner ended at 4, and her shift at Luna Chicks began at 6, and during that window of time she had to get Audrey to the sitter's and usually she had to screw Marcus a few times, but he hadn't called that day, so maybe she'd be spared from that.

She went into the shower as soon as she got home, washing off the diner's grime and stench from her skin, enjoying the steaming water and knowing that if she spent longer than ten or fifteen minutes in it, it would turn cold. The apartment complex's landlord never shelled out for proper water heating. But Summer didn't mind, ten minutes was all she needed, a few minutes to relax and recuperate from the stress of her life. With the water her makeup was rinsed off, and Summer was glad that Seth hadn't noticed the bruises buried beneath the cover-up. When she emerged from the shower, she saw her body as it was—with the finger-shaped marks where her wrists, neck, back and waist had been gripped, and the splotchy patches of blue and purple on her face and arms and legs where his violence and roughness had violated her. She winced when she accidentally banged her bruise-laden hip against the bathroom door.

She turned around when she heard breathing behind her, and jumped when Marcus's frame appeared in the doorway.

"Marcus?" She gasped. She was completely naked and yanked a towel off the hook to cover her, although she knew it was of little use, and it would be pulled off momentarily.

"I decided to stop by," he explained, though that was obvious. Summer frowned. She didn't have much time until she was due at work, and she was achy and tired and just wanted to squeeze in a power-nap. But that wasn't going to work out now. "Come on, Summer, let's go into the bedroom."

"Marcus, please," Summer said haltingly, biting the inside of her lip. "Just…not tonight, okay? I really can't do this tonight."

"So you expect me to spend my life waiting for you to be ready?" Marcus asked rhetorically, making Summer's eyes and throat burn with pain. His words stabbed her, and they mirrored those Seth would always whisper to her when they had been going through a difficult period. Whenever you're ready, he would say to her. I'll always be here. I'll wait for you forever.

But he hadn't waited forever, and neither had she. They had broken up like all high school couples inevitably did. Now they were simply friends, split by distance and differences. Now she was with a man who refused to acknowledge her or their daughter publicly, a man who would never wait for her, a man who was not interested in how ready she was or how she was feeling.

This was made clear as he shoved Summer suddenly against the bathroom wall, stripping her of her towel—her protection, her shield, her only hope—in the process. Summer felt so bare, so empty; he could do anything to her. She was powerless, and helpless, and he had complete control over her and her body. He had always warned her that if she ever disclosed anything about Audrey to his wife or the press or anyone else, he would sue for custody and given the difference in their lifestyles, Summer knew that he could win. It didn't matter that he didn't give a shit about their daughter, but more that he did not want anyone to know about her.

Marcus shoved Summer down to the cracking tiled bathroom floor below him, so she was kneeling painfully, and forced himself into her mouth. She did what she had to do, keeping her mind on happier thoughts, like her breakfasts with Audrey every morning and seeing Seth earlier that day. Marcus slapped her into submission, and she felt her head collide sharply with the wall and her mind was sent spinning into pain. And soon he shoved himself inside of her, and she stared at the ceiling, waiting for it to be over. He held her firmly to the wall and stared at her before diving his lips towards her neck, kissing feverishly, biting and sucking when his passion overtook him, as Summer winced with the unpleasant pain. He thrust in and out of her, more roughly than he ever had, and with each move Summer felt more empty, more vulnerable, more weak. It's all for Audrey, she reminded herself as Marcus found his mouth on her earlobe, biting down hard. It's all for Audrey, it's so she can have a good life, it's so we can survive.

"Good night, Summer," he whispered hauntingly. When she didn't look up, he slammed his fist into her cheek, and a sharp throbbing began to pound throughout her head. Finally he let the bathroom door shut close behind him, leaving Summer to slump to the floor. Finally. She leaned against the wall, sobbing, in more pain emotionally and physically than ever. The image of Seth holding Audrey's hand and walking into the diner was burned into her memory, and it replayed over and over in her mind, taking her mind off the cuts and bruises that painted her entire body, the immense pain in her face, and the blood coming out of her, a result of Marcus's brutality. She couldn't even move. She knew that there were things to do: get dressed to head over to Luna Chicks, do the laundry, pay all those bills that arrived at the apartment stamped with angry red warnings. But she couldn't deal with that now. It hurt too badly to move, so she stayed still, wishing that everything, everything, would go away.


	3. Fall At Your Feet

A/N: Sorry for the delay! This chapter is called "Fall At Your Feet" which is a James Blunt song. Please review!

FALL AT YOUR FEET

Seth had never been to Summer's apartment. They saw each other infrequently and when they did, they met at coffee shops or the diner where Summer worked, per her request. He knew so much about her life and at the same time so little. He knew about Marcus, but not the specifics of what he did to her almost every day. He knew she struggled financially, but he didn't know that she was just-this-close to evacuation every month, that even things like groceries and laundry were sometimes hard to manage within her meager budget. Summer had made sure to keep their conversations to happier thoughts—funny things Audrey had said that day, Seth's work at the Newport Group, updates on how Seth's parents were or if either of them had heard from Ryan and Marissa, who were living in Chicago, as they rarely did.

But Kirsten still sent Christmukkah cards to Summer, and had her address. Clutching that address on a post-it as he drove, Seth watched for her street name and finally found it, turning into the small alley where the entrance to her building was. He was nervous about leaving his shiny BMW parked on the street, but knew there wouldn't be a parking garage anywhere nearby. He looked around. The neighborhood was not exactly ideal and it was far from the beautiful gated communities in which they had both lived in Newport, with their perfect ocean views, sprawling mansions, and manicured lawns. The street was cluttered with litter, the buildings were dilapidated and dirty, and graffiti covered the concrete surfaces that seemed all-consuming. Seth bit his lip and neared her building, an approaching man glaring at him openly. He rang the bell that corresponded to her apartment but received no response. He frowned. He had noticed her car in a parking spot, he knew her second job hadn't started yet, and that Audrey should already have been dropped off at her sitter's.

He was perplexed, but luckily the building door was unlocked and he pushed through into it. Expecting an elevator to transport him to Summer's sixth-floor apartment, he was greeted with a gray-painted staircase in the dimly lit foyer. He sighed and began his walk up stairs. Arriving at apartment 6C, hers, completely out of breath with tired legs, he noticed the doorbell was broken and knocked on the door. Again, no response. But she had to be home. She had to be. Seth reached down to the dingy floor mat and lifted it to find a key, and slowly turned it in the lock, a bundle of worry forming in his stomach. The door opened and Seth entered the apartment, gulping.

"Summer?" He called.

"M-Marcus?" A wobbly voice, full of fear and anxiety, called from another room.

"Sum? It's Seth."

"Cohen?" She asked pitifully.

Seth knew something was wrong. He glanced around at the cramped space, frowning at the conditions Summer and Audrey were living in. The walls were cracked, the ceilings were low, the furniture was falling apart, and Seth wanted to help in the worst way. That was the emotion he felt his entire being be consumed with: the desire to help the only girl he had ever really loved.

But he ignored his concern about the apartment for that moment and rushed towards the sound of her voice and knocked softly on the bathroom door. "Sum?"

"Cohen, I need help," she said, her voice ragged. He could hear her breathing heavily.

"Can I come in?" Seth asked gently, his voice not matching his heart, pounding with fear, and the rushing in his head.

"I wish you didn't have to," Summer explained from the other end, desperation echoing from her words. "But I don't know what to do."

Seth frowned. Something was very, very wrong. He inhaled slowly, trying to be reasonable about the situation, for her sake. "How about I come in, and we can deal with whatever the problem is and I'll be very calm and cool and collected?"

"Okay," she whispered, about to cry.

Seth slowly opened the thin bathroom door and his eyes widened when he saw the scene before him. Summer was slumped against the peeling whitish-gray paint of the bathroom. Her hair was wet and matted, her face pale and bruised and cut and paralyzed with fear, her body partially covered by an old damp green towel. Her eyes traveled up to meet his, and she flushed with embarrassment, shame, guilt.

"Holy shit." Seth formed the words slowly in his mouth, and they jolted Summer.

"Please Seth, just don't—"

"I want to beat the crap out of him," Seth said, setting his jaw firmly, his eyes alive with fury. She could see his fist clenching. He and Ryan were not blood brothers, but in some ways they were so similar—their everlasting need to protect and save the ones they loved. But that wasn't where Summer's mind was. Her mind could not ignore the throbbing that devoured her body, the fuzziness that occupied her brain, and the horrible feeling that encompassed her when she saw Seth's face, crossed with anger and sadness and a little bit of disappointment. That was what she hated the most. The disappointment.

"I want to too, sometimes," she laughed lightly, trying to break the severity of the mood. But it wasn't going to be broken, not with her crumpled and shivering and half-naked and beat-up on her bathroom floor and her ex-boyfriend staring down at her with all of these emotions that she could still read so clearly, even after so many years had passed.

"This is serious." As if she needed a reminder, she thought bitterly to herself.

"It doesn't have to be." As if it could be ignored, he told himself, outraged.

"Yes, it does," he replied forcefully. "How long, Summer?"

"How long what?" She retorted, though she knew exactly what he meant.

"How long has he been fucking doing this to you?" Seth shouted, anger flowing through him without control, at Marcus and this horrible world and even Summer, a little bit. That she hadn't told him. That she hadn't let him in. That she hadn't given him the chance to protect her.

He would have.

"A long time, Seth," she said, sighing, fingering the fraying edge of green terrycloth towel. "A really long time."

"You never said anything."

"I know."

"You could have." He reconsidered, biting his lip slightly. "You _should _have."

"Maybe," she said, sighing.

He knew he wasn't going to get anywhere on that topic for the time being. Not when she was in this state. "I should take you to the hospital."

"Oh, no." Summer shook her head fervently. "No way."

"Summer, look at you! How can you deny that something is wrong?" He said, raising his voice again, frustrated and concerned and goddamn furious.

Her eyes widened at the audacity of his words, and she shakily grabbed on to the hook on the side of the wall to help support herself as she stood, attempting to clutch her towel to her skinny frame as she did so. Her motion was full of pain, of fear, and Seth wished he hadn't sounded so crazed. It obviously wasn't helping, when she was struggling so much. But now she was angry too.

Summer had always been powerful, strong, and bold. She had been quick to jab or scold him when they were dating, and she had always gotten what she wanted. She was persuasive and fierce and he had always admired her for it. But this Summer was different. She was weak. She was small. She was tired. She was broken. Seth couldn't comprehend a Summer like that.

"I know something is wrong!" She said, screaming at him now. "Obviously, I know something is wrong! You think I didn't realize that?" She swallowed, trying not to let her anger overtake her. "You think that just because he hit me, I forgot that it was wrong?"

"I never meant that," Seth replied slowly.

"Well then what the hell did you mean?" She asked. She paused, and neither spoke. Then she smiled. "Remember when we were seniors, back at Harbor?"

"Of course. Best time of my life, not that I realized it then."

She thought for a moment, and then nodded, agreeing. "Mine too. And remember when you lied to me, told me you didn't love me, told me you didn't want to go to Brown anymore and that we should go our separate ways?"

"Biggest mistake of my life," Seth commented, cracking a smile.

"It was all because you wanted me to go to Brown," she reminded him. "You didn't want me to skip out on Brown to follow you wherever you were going to go, because you knew I would have." She smiled again, reminiscing. She transported herself back to a time when her concerns were her best friend Marissa's latest Ryan rebound and what she would wear to the next Newport charity event. But now her problems were far scarier. Far more real. "You did it because you were willing to do something that hurt yourself for the benefit of someone you loved."

"This is different," Seth insisted. "I wasn't being abused."

"I think it's the same thing," Summer replied, pieces of her old self shining through in her insistence and stubbornness. "I'm okay with this. It's for Audrey."

"So letting her grow up in a home where her dad won't acknowledge she's alive and her mom gets beat up for cash is okay?" Seth asked. He knew his words would sting. But she needed to understand. She needed to understand that this wasn't okay, that she needed help, that she couldn't do it all on her own.

"You can't expect to say that to me and then drag me to the hospital," she said simply. She sighed. "I have to go to work." She clutched the wall and attempted to walk, tripping. Seconds before her face would have smashed into the tile floor, Seth caught her and tilted her upright again. They were close, their faces inches apart.

"Do you need me to help you get some clothes?" Seth asked. Summer nodded silently. Both knew that she had caved, that Seth would be driving her to the hospital. They didn't even need to say anything, but their natural chemistry and the unbreakable connection between them filled in all the blanks. She couldn't walk. She couldn't fight. Not anymore, at least. They were so in tune that Seth knew when she had hit her breaking point, and Summer knew she could argue with him no longer.

"What should I get?" Seth yelled from the closet.

"Sweats," Summer called back tiredly. She didn't care what Seth saw her in now; he had seen her at her worst. She leaned back and let herself fall into a sitting position on the toilet seat, while attempting to cover her body with the towel. Her tailbone ached with the pressure of sitting down. She leaned over the counter for her trusty concealer and began trying to paint it over the bruises that marred her pale face, but she could hardly lift her arms.

Seth reentered, carrying some clothes. He saw her close to tears, struggling to keep from openly sobbing.

"Summer," he said softly, kneeling next to her and wrapping his arms around her. Both acknowledged the fact that Summer was completely naked under the towel, but they couldn't care about that. Summer was in pain; she was broken, and Seth wanted to put her back together. He took her arm and gently laid it down in her lap, took the concealer, and began dabbing it softly on the blue and purple regions of her face and neck.

"Thanks," she whispered, her eyes warm with tears and gratitude.

"Of course," he replied. Finally she looked at least better on the outside. "Here—clothes—"

"Perfect," she said. He set the pile on the counter.

"And you even found my favorite bra." Summer cracked a smile.

Seth had an awkward look on his face. "I didn't know—"

"No, Cohen," she said, washing away the worry on his face. She loved that he was so concerned about doing the right thing, not upsetting her. "Thank you."

She took the too-big and frayed bra—it was from high school, and she'd lost so much weight since then—and attempted to hold her towel up and attach the clasp of her bra at the same time.

"Do you want me to—go, or—" Seth hesitated nervously. "Help?"

Summer winced as she tried to move her arms. "Just don't freak out, okay?"

Seth knit his brow, confused, but realized what she meant when she let her grip on the towel go and it floated to floor, leaving her completely uncovered. Whereas typically his eyes would not have been able to be drawn away from her perfect breasts and the slender body he remembered so well, this was different—her entire frame was covered in reminders of Marcus. His fist and nails and teeth were painted all over her, illustrated in the scrapes and bruises and red streaks that spread across her once smooth and creamy and unspoiled skin.

Seth stood suddenly, anger inflaming his eyes once more. "Holy fuck, Sum." He kicked the radiator in the corner, and the noise of his shoe on metal rattled through the bathroom, echoing, rippling through the emotions that filled the room. "I want to fucking kill him, I swear—"

"I know," she said, her voice caught in her throat. "But you can't, Seth, you can't, I need you."

His attention was turned back to her, and he nodded before taking the worn bra in his hands and wrapping it around her, fixing the partially broken clasp in the back where it hung loosely.

"You're better at that than you were in high school," Summer commented, and she could hear him smirk from behind her.

"I would hope so," Seth quipped, and she laughed. He lived for that laugh.

He helped her into a loose t-shirt and then slid a pair of underwear up her pin-thin legs towards her narrow hips when he realized what was going on.

"Summer. You're bleeding." He looked up from his crouched position into her eyes, trying to read her expression.

"I know," she said, sighing tiredly. "I always do."

Seth closed his eyes, wishing all her pain away, but knowing it would still be there moments later. "You need to get to the ER right now." Without letting her speak or protest, he lifted her into his arms, slipping her into the baggy sweatpants in the same motion. They were ripped and the elastic was stretched out, but at least they covered her.

He rushed through the apartment and out to his car. "Front or back?" He asked.

"Cohen I don't know—if I can sit down," she admitted softly, and he understood, placing her gently across the black leather backseat of his BMW.

He ran around to the driver's side and sped toward the hospital, trying to drive smoothly so that the car wouldn't jostle fragile Summer in the back. She occasionally winced, and stifled sobs, and Seth himself winced every time she did. He hated this. Hated that she had no control and wasn't angry, hated that she felt she had to do this. She didn't have to do this. She had to understand that.

He would do everything in his power to make sure she did.


	4. Nothing Left To Lose

A/N: Sorry it's been so long since the last update! Please review, I'd love to hear what my readers think of this story, good or bad. Thank you! The song that this chapter is named after is "Nothing Left to Lose" by Mat Kearney. Enjoy!

NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE

"How much did you have to pay them to get me a private room, Cohen?" Summer asked softly when he reentered her hospital room. She knew there was no way she would otherwise have been given a fairly quiet, private corner room in one of the busiest hospitals in Los Angeles, but she appreciated his gesture and was grateful.

"It doesn't matter," he told her, touching her forehead lightly. She closed her eyes, relishing in his touch. "What matters is that you get better. Okay?"

"I know, I do," Summer agreed. "I have to get back to work tomorrow, I only have one sick day left for the year."

"That's not what I meant," Seth replied, trying to keep the anger from his voice. He didn't want her to back to work at all, let alone before she had fully recovered.

"I know that's not what you meant," she retorted, narrowing her eyes. "This is a different world for me, Seth. It's just different now."

"Why does going to the hospital when you're beat up and in pain have to be a different world?" Seth said, throwing up his arms in frustration. "I don't understand, Sum."

"I have two jobs, a four-year-old, and a pretty demanding…"

"Is he your boyfriend, Summer? Is that what you call him?"

"Oh, stop it, Seth. You don't have to do this, be like this."

"And neither do you," he snapped. He looked at her, hating that he was being so bitter when she was in so much pain. But he had to make her realize what she could be, and do, and live like. "Come back to Newport."

"What?" Summer laughed bitterly. "Seth, that's impossible."

"Please. Come back. Everyone's missed you, you know."

"It doesn't matter anymore." She shifted in the hospital bed, her dark hair lying limply across the pillow, biting her lip to keep from crying out in the pain that movement caused her. "I have a new life now."

"New doesn't always mean better."

She narrowed her eyes. "And neither does old."

"At least let me help you," Seth pleaded.

"You have helped me, Cohen," she reminded him. "And I'm really, really thankful. Honestly. But what I need right now is to get a prescription for some painkillers and go pick Audrey up from the sitter's. It's on the complete other side of LA."

"I'll get her," Seth said, shaking his head. "You need to rest. The doctor told me you should be in bed for at least a week or two."

"Impossible," Summer said quickly, shaking her head. "I do work, you know."

"Not for the next two weeks you won't be," Seth responded.

"Oh, so now you can control my life?"

"Look, if you're worried about the money, I can—"

"The money is only half of it, Cohen," Summer cut in, breathing heavily. "You don't seem to understand. For better or for worse, this is what I have right now. Yes, the father of my daughter hurts me. Yes, I work two jobs and hate both of them. Yes, my apartment is shit and I know I could live in my father's guest room or something in a second." She paused, letting this sink in for the both of them. "But I love my daughter. And I'm not willing to give her up to lie in a hospital and feel bad for myself."

"You won't be giving her up, Sum. That's what you have to understand. Why can't you let me help you, you and Audrey both?"

"Me and Audrey don't need you, Cohen! We don't need you!" She screamed, her face reddening as tears streamed down her face.

"Then why did she ask me on our way to the diner who her dad was, why he didn't love her?" Seth asked quietly, letting out the secret that had built up since that afternoon. He turned to face her. "Why did she ask me why you were so sad all the time?"

At these words, Summer's heart broke, and along with it, she did too. She let out huge, wracking sobs, causing her body to shake with anguish. For so long she had tried to create a perfect life for Audrey, if not for herself. Learning that her efforts had been futile made her entire body burn with sadness. She remembered her own childhood, asking her father over and over again why her mother had left them. Asking why he was always so busy, why there was never anyone to play with her. He had married Gloria, probably partially to give Summer a mother—and their relationship had never been the same. She compared that to her current life. In Newport—pre-Seth, at least—she had become a person she wasn't, created a shell around her, to prevent her heart from being toyed with again. All Summer had wanted for Audrey was to give her baby a way to not have to do that, a way to let her heart be open and loved. But she was realizing quickly that she had done just the opposite, that within Audrey were the same emotions Summer had had as a child, that Summer's attempts at creating a better life for her little girl had failed. That was what she was. A failure.

Seth could read exactly what was happening. Summer allowed him to slide onto the edge of the bed next to her, and he wrapped strong, protective arms around her, shielding her from the world just like she had tried to shield Audrey from the world she had hated growing up in. But maybe Seth's shield had been all she needed. Maybe that was all Audrey needed.

"What time do you need to pick her up?" Seth whispered into her ear when Summer's sobs had slowly begun to subside.

"12:30."

"It's close to midnight," Seth said quietly. He did not say what was in his mind: that Summer shouldn't be working so late, that she shouldn't have to bring Audrey home so late, that the entire situation shouldn't exist. "I'm going to go get her."

"Thank you," Summer said earnestly. "I don't know what I would've done…" They both thought back to the battered Summer hunched on the bathroom floor.

"I'm glad I was there," Seth said, easing the tension with calm, airy words and brushing her forehead lightly with his lips. "I'll be back with Audrey."

He exited the room with one more glance at Summer, and he left to retrieve her daughter. He knew he was getting more and more entangled in the family of two's life.

And he couldn't have been happier about it.

…

"Mommy doesn't let me ride without my car seat," Audrey piped in from the backseat of Seth's car as he headed towards the hospital.

"This is a special situation," Seth promised the little girl.

"What's a situation?" Audrey asked in her cheery baby voice. She was mature for her age, agreeable and friendly, and sometimes Seth forgot that the four-year-old was only a four-year-old.

Seth wracked his brain for a legitimate response, deciding that the word "situation" was nearly impossible to define simply, before realizing Audrey was yawning sleepily. "How about I explain in the morning?"

"Mmm…okay…" Audrey sighed as she drifted into sleep. Seth smiled into his rearview mirror at the little girl curled up in the back of his car.

Seth had always thought he would have a family. He loved children, he had a high-paying job despite his lack of interest in it, and he had always liked the idea of being a father something like his own. He had seen his friends' parents—Ryan's dad, convicted and jailed; Marissa's dad, who had embezzled and then abandoned his family at least two or three times; Summer's dad, who though loving and well-intentioned, had never been the constant presence Sandy had been in Seth's own life. And Seth wanted to be Sandy for another kid. He wanted to have children to play with and teach and raise right.

But it hadn't happened. Things had just gotten messy and stayed that way.

He remembered when he and Summer had split up. He was at RISD, struggling with his direction for the future, figuring out what to do in terms of sticking with an art career or taking the less risky route and heading into the Newport Group empire. Then there was Summer, at the other end of Providence at Brown, dealing with an entirely different set of problems when she had refused to show up at her father's latest wedding and Neil had threatened to cut her off and stop paying her college tuition. They were juniors. Despite the Cohen family's promises that they would help her out and Seth's consistent begging, Summer finished up her junior year and told her father, the Cohens, and Seth that she would be fine on her own. She guiltily ended things with Seth, both of them confused and frustrated, and picked up and moved to Los Angeles, where she began a life far different from the one she'd always led.

Seth remembered the last time he'd seen her in Providence, when she'd kissed him in the rain with all the passion they still had and took her suitcase and got into a cab and drove away. He hadn't known it had been goodbye. He hadn't known she'd made her decision—she was leaving, leaving him and Rhode Island and their dreams and the destiny they'd always talked about. The destiny was supposed to be together.

But Summer had quickly erased the epilogue of their story, the happily ever after part. She decided to add in more chapters, sloppily fill in the room, make up new miserable plots for the main characters to go through.

So Seth had finished up at RISD and gave up his own comic book dreams to take over the Newport Group and begin life as a bored, frustrated CEO. Summer had met Marcus at Luna Chicks and had given birth to Audrey and started her own life—one of pain and struggling and long, hard days.

Seth wished he'd stopped her. Made her tell him what was really going on all those years. Made her see him when he'd called over and over again when she'd first gotten to LA and was refusing to see anyone from her old life. But they had simply become, after time had helped to heal them, long-distance friends with a short distance between them, and she had always refused his help, and he had relied on brief phone calls and the rare visit to keep her cheerful, which he had made his goal very early on.

Finally he pulled the car into the hospital parking lot, carefully took Audrey out of the backseat of his car and into his arms, and entered to go up to Summer's room.

Summer was asleep—resting—when he arrived in her hospital room. He smiled when he looked at Audrey's and Summer's matching sleeping faces and slid Audrey into the bed next to Summer, and the little girl immediately curled up next to her mother while Summer wrapped a protective arm around her baby daughter subconsciously.

Seth sat in a stiff chair across the room and watched them sleep in the 1 A.M. dimness of the hospital. Mother and daughter; Summer and Audrey. He wanted it to stay this way. He _loved_ it this way.

…

Summer's eyes cracked open painfully, and she could feel her dry lips curl up when she realized a small warm body belonging to her four-year-old was tucked next to her. As her vision came back and her eyes adjusted to the florescent light of the hospital, she realized where she was and what was going on.

That was when she saw Seth, across the room, sitting in that goddamn chair. Smiling, like he always did, unless he was busy worrying about her. She knew the smiling was mostly meant to calm her down, to soothe her, and above all she appreciated it. "Cohen."

He was looking directly at her and grinned. "Sum. You're awake."

"Thank you," she said, after a moment of mutual staring. She said it so genuinely that Seth knew what she meant. She meant thank you for everything, for finding her, for convincing her to go to the hospital, for driving her there, for picking up and bringing back Audrey, for likely saving her life.

"Any time," he replied, and she knew he meant it completely and fully. And _he _knew she knew that.

A doctor, balding and impatient, entered the room swiftly. "Good morning, Ms. Roberts. How are you feeling this morning?"

"I'm okay," Summer lied. In all truthfulness, she felt worse than she did the previous night, if that was at all possible.

"That surprises me," the doctor commented suspiciously, looking her in the eye over the rims of his glasses. "You've broken two ribs and gotten a total of twenty-two stitches in three places, and you have extensive bruising, especially on your spinal cord."

Summer gulped. That was a lot.

"Mr. Cohen here has informed me of your reluctance to stay in the hospital, and I think you'll be alright if I prescribe you a heavy-duty painkiller," the doctor said, "And I'm afraid you're going to need to stay in bed for at least two weeks or so."

"I'm sorry, doctor, that's not really an option for me," Summer explained, trying to stay calm and polite.

"You're not going to be able to walk for a while," the doctor said simply, trying to force his patient to understand the seriousness of her medical problems. Summer's jaw tensed. "Ms. Roberts, you have some severe injuries. You will need to take care of yourself."

"I understand, doctor," Summer said, lacking all feeling. "Thank you." The doctor exited the room and Summer felt Seth's eyes on her.

"See what I told you?"

She tried to turn over but failed to do so. "I know."

"Come to Newport," he urged. "If you don't want to stay with your dad, stay with me. You and Audrey can each have a room, and if you want her to stay at the preschool where she is, I'll drive her every day. I promise."

"I don't know, Seth," Summer sighed. "Marcus isn't going to like this, and I'll lose both my jobs."

"Two weeks, Sum," Seth pleaded. "Two weeks. You'll get better and you can just relax and I'll help you with Audrey. You know my parents are going to be so happy to see you and Aud both. And after that, if you want to go back, I will personally threaten both of your bosses until they rehire you."

Summer frowned. "And, Mr. Solution-Finder, what do you propose I do about Marcus?"

"Dump his fucking sorry ass," Seth said under his breath. Summer sent him a warning glare and checked to make sure Audrey was still sleeping; she was.

"I need the money, Seth," Summer reminded him, knowing it was useless to cover up what was really going on. She had never loved Marcus. She had never wanted anything from him besides the protection, financially at least, that he provided her with.

"I'll give you the money," Seth returned. And she knew he would, too. He was, after all, the head of the Newport Group now. He was a twenty-four-year-old Caleb, and Summer and Seth both knew what that meant. But he had mysteriously shied away from having girlfriends, purposefully avoided the plastic-surgery-laden blondes who managed to find their way towards him at every charity benefit or Newport group event.

"I'm not a charity case," Summer retorted defiantly. Her eyes had momentarily regained the passion Seth hadn't seen in them for a long time, and they were ablaze with the idea that Seth was threatening her independence. This independence was, besides Audrey, the one thing she had, and she treasured and revered it above all.

"Fine, have sex with me instead of Marcus then," Seth joked. Summer rolled her eyes but couldn't help blushing in embarrassment. In true Cohen fashion, Seth had not waited until the appropriate time to make a joke—which in this case would likely be never.

"Cohen!"

"We'll work it out. You can't stay in that apartment by yourself for two weeks with no one to help with Audrey. You know you can't."

"I know," Summer said quietly, realizing that denial would not get her anywhere, at least not with Seth Cohen.

"So how are you liking my solution?" Seth asked, desperately wanting her to accept. He wanted to help her. He wanted to show her that she was still Summer Roberts, and that she was above waitressing and stripping at she could still be the amazing, beautiful person he once knew. She had forced herself into a life Seth knew was not hers, and he would not be at peace until she realized that there was more out there for her to do and be and feel.

"Fine." Summer nodded simply, and Seth could not fathom the idea that she was actually agreeing to his proposal.

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"Thank you, Sum," Seth grinned excitedly, bending down to her level to hug her. She hugged him back and pulled him close, his arms wrapped snugly but not too firmly around her, knowing she would never feel like she did when she was near to him.

"No," she smiled. "Thank you, Cohen."


	5. Back To Where I Was

A/N: Sorry for the wait! This one is titled "Back to Where I Was" after the Eric Hutchinson song. Enjoy and please review! 

Back to Where I Was

"Is Noo-port going to be nice, Mommy?" Audrey asked cheerily as Seth pushed Summer's wheelchair down the hospital corridor.

"Yes, baby," Summer nodded, smiling tiredly. She had been having a hard time finding a position to sleep in because her back ached so badly, so she hadn't been sleeping much at all.

"You hanging in there?" Seth asked quietly, acknowledging the exhaustion in her voice and attempting not to let Audrey sense her mother's frailty.

"Trying," Summer smiled weakly. Seth nodded. Finally they were outside the hospital, and Seth had handily pulled his car up to the curb. "How am I—"

"Relax," Seth told her. First he locked the wheels of her wheelchair so it wouldn't roll away, then he buckled Audrey into the car seat he'd picked up from Summer's along with two or three boxes of hers and Audrey's stuff. Once Audrey was situated, he gently lifted Summer from the wheelchair and placed her in the front seat. "Comfortable?"

"Great," she nodded. "Thanks."

He nodded dutifully and folded up the wheelchair into the back. And then they were on their way.

…

As they drove, the memories she'd worked hard to flush out began flooding back into Summer's mind. Audrey and Seth chattered vibrantly and she was glad he was there to help with her daughter; he had been right. She knew she couldn't do everything on her own, at least not anymore.

As they worked their way up the highway, Summer remembered trips to LA boutiques with Marissa. In her five or so years of living in Los Angeles, Summer hadn't ever even thought about shopping on Robertson, but in her Newport years, she had done so all the time. She remembered the trip to Tijuana with Seth and Marissa and Ryan, when everything for them had changed—when Marissa had shifted from her Luke years to her Ryan years, and when she herself had realized that Seth was probably the first boy who had the capacity to enter her heart for real.

Finally the pristine beaches and lawns came into view, and the houses grew larger as they entered the town she'd never forgotten. They passed all the establishments of her childhood—Fashion Island, with its overpriced stores; the famed pier, with the Crab Shack and the Bait Shop and the diner; Harbor School, with its glossy buildings and perfect students. It was a world she'd been part of for so long and yet not in such a long time. It was surreal to see her baby daughter gazing at the soothing ocean and the enormous mansions. Summer thought Audrey wouldn't see any of this, any of her old world, until she was far older. Maybe even never.

"You ready for this, Sum?" Seth asked, turning his head to see her astounded face as she took in the sights of Newport Beach.

"I think I am," she agreed, and he took the car up a winding road towards his home. Finally it came into sight—Summer knew it was his immediately when she realized she was driving up the road they had driven on time and time again throughout their high school years. It was the road Summer drove up when she was sad or upset and needed a dose of Cohen, the road Seth drove down to pick her up for a date. The end of that road was where Ryan and Marissa had met for the first time. All three in the car were silent.

"Here we are," Seth said softly when he pulled up into the driveway. He got out of the car and unbuckled Audrey and then moved to help Summer back into her chair.

"Bring her in first?" Summer asked, looking up at him with warm, watery eyes. "I—I need a minute." Seth nodded in understanding and took Audrey's hand and her little suitcase and walked her up into the house.

"Cohen?" Audrey asked, having taken to using the nickname her mother had awarded Seth with years ago and still used. "I like your house."

Seth smiled brightly at the four-year-old. "Thanks, Aud. I'm glad you do."

"Mommy said we were going to stay with you," she whispered nervously. "Are we going to stay here?"

"Yep," Seth nodded.

"I think it's too big."

Seth laughed. She was clever and mature and all the things he would expect in any daughter of Summer's. "That means there is lots of room for you to play," he explained.

Audrey considered this. "Can I play now?"

Seth unzipped her suitcase, which was, because she had been allowed to pack it herself, filled mainly with the worn toys and dolls she'd always had. Seth thought sadly back to his own childhood toys: excessive amounts of electronic games, a collection of pricey vintage comic books, armies upon armies of plastic animals, and anything else he asked for. But Audrey seemed content with her wilted toys and used-looking plastic dolls, and if Audrey was content, so was Seth. "Stay here, okay? I'm going to go help your mom."

He walked back towards the car and watched Summer admiringly. She really was incredibly brave. He examined her face and its emotions; she looked awed and ashamed, happy and sad, incredulous and guilty, all at the same time.

"Sum?"

"This is it," she said abruptly, turning her head to face him. He had opened her car door and was standing right next to her. "You still—"

"Yep," he nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I always thought—"

"You would have what they had." Seth looked at her and realized her words were exactly true. He nodded. She was referring to his parents, of course. Kirsten and Sandy, moral center of the universe. Or at least Newport Beach.

"They didn't want the house anymore. I think it was hard for them to realize that that time in their life was over. I mean, it's a house for a family."

"So where are they now?"

"This little house on the beach. They love it. It's easier to maintain, my dad can walk right up to the shore with his surf board…"

"That sounds amazing."

"It is. It's good for them. Sometimes you just need to end a chapter in your life, you know?"

"Yeah," Summer said, knowing that his words meant more than what they seemed to mean. Sometimes you just had to move on, forget the past, and start your life again.

"Ready?" She nodded and waited for Seth to lift her up to transport her into her chair. She hated the thing but knew it was necessary for a few more weeks. It was still hard to stand and nearly impossible to walk.

Seth gently wrapped one arm around her shoulders and slid one beneath her knees and lifted her up and towards his chest, to which she clung as he walked. "Seth, the chair," she reminded him.

"I can carry you in," he grinned, and she nestled her face into his shoulder, enjoying the feel and scent of the Seth Cohen she'd always known. He wore an ancient and extremely soft blue t-shirt—probably something he'd owned and wore during high school—and comfortable looking jeans, and Summer loved how her own shirt would ride up slightly as she shifted in his arms and her bare hip would slightly graze the softness of his shirt. Every time Seth felt her skin—and he felt it strongly, he knew it was so close, knew the skin belonged to the woman probably would always love—he felt a vague tingle.

"It's perfect," Summer sighed peacefully as he deposited Summer on the couch in the family room, where so many video games had been played, make out sessions had been had, and deep conversations had occurred.

"Audrey's upstairs," Seth told her, circling around to prop a pillow up behind her head so she could lie down comfortably. He sat down by her feet. "I renovated a little, so she's playing in the recently created comic book storage room."

Summer's eyes widened, slightly horrified. "Seth? Comic book storage room?"

"Let me explain," he grinned. He picked up one of her weathered feet and began to massage it, and she moaned slightly and smiled. "I was too freaked out to move into my parents' room, even though it's bigger, because obviously that's sketchy."

She smiled broadly. He was still her Cohen. "Obviously."

"So I decided my own bedroom needed some expanding, but after I did that, I realized that I was cramming all my comics and stuff into my room, but meanwhile, my parents' room was sitting there, empty."

"I think I know where this is going."

He laughed. "So I converted their bedroom into my official comic book storage room. It even has glass cases on the walls for some of my limited editions. I'm a bona fide collector now."

"Kirsten must be horrified to know what happened to her bedroom! But I suppose I should congratulate you?" Summer asked, a bemused smile dazzling her face.

"I suppose so," he smiled back. "But I keep other stuff in there, too."

"I'm not interested in hearing about or seeing your glass-encased porno collection, Cohen," Summer retorted, and her slightly biting words reminded him of the old her, and he loved that.

"No, no pornos in there," he promised. "I keep those in my bedroom."

"Cohen!" She squealed. He tickled her feet and she squirmed out of his grasp.

"No, seriously. I keep so much old stuff in there. Stuff from high school, I guess, and some of my parents' stuff, too. A ton of photos. It's nice to go back in there and you know, think."

"I miss it," Summer said quietly. "High school? When we were all together?"

"What would we have done if Ryan hadn't come?" Seth asked speculatively.

"Well, Marissa would be married to some cheating asshole, your typical blond Newport god," Summer began. She paused. "I probably would never have talked to you."

"Good to know."

"C'mon, Seth. You know I wish it had been different, before everything. Where would I be now without you?"

They were both silent as they considered this. They remembered the ups and downs, the messy breakups, the pain each of them had gone through during the last one, when Summer had left Rhode Island for L.A. and they'd both suffered miserably.

But Summer wondered where she would be right now, right in that moment. During the long years of weathering Marcus's abuse and trying to raise Audrey and working two jobs, her brief phone calls with Cohen had kept her smiling. And she didn't like to think what would have happened if Seth hadn't happened to come by that day, if she had laid on that bathroom floor, cold and alone and broken, until Marcus had returned. She realized that having Seth in her life was, after Audrey, the most important thing to her. And she realized she had to make sure he knew that.

…

After putting Audrey to sleep and watching a few too many DVDs, Summer yawned and Seth offered to carry her upstairs. He lifted her easily and she rested his head into his arm.

Seth bit his lip when he realized that there were two bedrooms now—Audrey's and his. "Do you want—"

Summer knew what he was asking and figured she'd save him the grief. At least for the night. "My stuff is in Audrey's room."

Seth nodded, and they entered the dim room—a nightlight spared it from complete darkness—and they both grinned at Audrey's curled-up body in the corner of the queen-sized bed. He deposited Summer tenderly on the other side.

"Do you need help getting pajamas or something?" Seth asked awkwardly, his hands fidgeting.

"I'm comfy enough," Summer sighed. "And too lazy."

Seth laughed lightly and helped her lie down in bed. He carefully stretched the comforter over her body, tucking her in gently.

"Cohen?" She asked, her voice almost like a little girl's.

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to have to go back sometime. I just want you to remember that."

Seth nodded dismissively. "When the time comes, we'll deal with it. But right now, you need to just focus on getting better again. Okay?"

"Okay." She shifted slightly in bed. "You know... I can't think of anyone I'd rather have rescue me."

Seth's heart swelled. "I can't think of anyone I'd rather rescue." They both grinned. "Night, Sum."

"Night, Cohen."

Summer gazed at her little girl as she tried to fall asleep, but her mind was focused on the boy she would always love, sleeping across the hall. Little did she know, Seth was nowhere near asleep. He tossed and turned for hours, thinking of Summer, the girl he could not imagine his life without.


	6. Apologies

A/N: This chapter is called "Apologies" for the Grace Potter & the Nocturnals' song. The song is recommended, it's really great. Read and review, please!

APOLOGIES

Summer woke up with light streaming through the blinds in a room she didn't remember. At first fear consumed her, but she quickly realized she was in Seth's guest room. She looked next to her for Audrey, but the little girl was not there. But when she listened closely, she could hear her young daughter's giggling and Seth's nonstop talking downstairs, and she smiled knowing that everything was okay.

She could hear her cell phone ring in her purse and she leaned over painfully to reach it. Without looking at the caller ID, she picked up. "Hello?"

"Summer."

Her heart dropped and her brain could not focus at the mere sound of his voice. She felt as though she were spinning. Her mouth grew dry, but she forced herself to respond. "Yeah."

"I'm going to need to see you tomorrow morning."

"That's not going to be possible," she said firmly, unwaveringly.

"I'll give you another two hundred for the week," he said tauntingly. She hated this. She felt like shit when he did this. She used to spend two hundred and more on a pair of jeans. Now that two hundred could really help her and Audrey out. But she didn't know how everything was going to work out. She was in Newport. Could she even go back to LA? Would Seth mind? After she healed, what would happen? She and Seth hadn't discussed anything—the future—at all.

"I'm not in Los Angeles," she admitted.

"Did you run away?" He asked threateningly. She didn't speak. "Summer, answer me. Answer me!" His heavy breathing echoed in Summer's ear. "Did…you…run…away?"

Did she run away? Summer's mind floated into what seemed like some other dimension. Did she run away like Seth did? That first summer? When she was in love with him and Ryan left for Chino again and Seth wrote a pathetic note to her and took that goddamned boat and sailed away? Did she run away like Jimmy Cooper did before he was to marry Julie for the second time, giving Marissa a ring to give to her mother, as if that could quench the pain on Julie's face when Marissa gave her a hug and told her Jimmy had left again? Did she run away like Volchok did when he tried to kill Marissa, running out of fear and the knowledge that if he stayed everything would fall apart, even though it fell apart anyway? Did she run away like her mother? When Summer had been just thirteen, when she had needed a mother more than ever? Did she run away, abandoning her life and everyone in it for her own selfishness?

"No," she said sternly. He had always had the upper hand, but Summer was sick of that. Sure, he had money, money she didn't have, money she needed. But she had Audrey, and Seth, and Newport, and he had none of those things. "I didn't run away."

"Then when the fuck are you coming back?" He asked, unconcerned with anything but when she'd be back to give him what he wanted. Him. Marcus. It had always been about Marcus's needs and wants.

"I'm not sure," she said lightly, trying not to cry, though her eyes burned with the threat of tears.

"You better be here at seven, tomorrow morning," he warned her menacingly. "Because you know what I could do to you." She knew what he would do to her anyway, but she bit her lip and closed her eyes, as if it could block out her world.

"Why tomorrow morning, Marcus?" She asked. "We've never—in the morning before—"

"My wife left me," he said coldly. She wished she could be sympathetic, but all she felt was jealousy towards his wife. "And maybe you'll be good enough for me to forget that." Summer's eyes widened and she felt her stomach churn. She slowly closed her phone, taking it away from her ear, and slid out of bed, knowing she could easily call Seth and he'd gladly carry her. But Marcus's phone call reminded her of the things she valued above all: her independence and her ability to raise Audrey alone. And as much at the temptation to fall back into Seth's arms and allow him to become part of their lives taunted her, as much as she knew she loved him, she couldn't abandon everything she'd stood for since they'd broken up and she'd decided to make it on her own in LA. She hated depending on Marcus, and she couldn't allow herself to depend on Seth. She wanted to, badly, but she couldn't let herself.

Leaning against the edge of the bed, she hoisted her body upright. Her torso throbbed and her back ached, constant reminders of the ordeal that had happened only a day and a half ago. She slowly began to walk out of the room, clutching surfaces as she moved her feet slowly but determinedly. She could do this. She had to do this. She had to be strong.

"Summer!" Seth exclaimed when he saw her walking down the stairs, using the banister for support. He rushed over to her. "Let me help you."

"No, Cohen. I need to do this."

"You don't want my help?"

"No, I don't!"

He bit his lip as he watched her hobble out the kitchen doors to the patio, where she situated herself on a chair and stared out at the ocean in the distance. He hadn't meant to be so overprotective; he knew she hated that. But at the same time, he wanted to help her so badly. He wanted her to know he cared and how much he cared, and this was the only way he knew to do it. He slowly walked towards her, leaving Audrey in front of an apparently enthralling episode of Lilo and Stitch.

"Sum?"

"I'm sorry I snapped," she whispered, lowering her eyes. Shit, Seth thought to himself as he watched her. She was so beautiful, even when she was in so much pain.

"I'm sorry I pushed you to snapping," he admitted. He looked at her closely. "I need to give you your space. I'm just so damn afraid that you'll get hurt again…"

"I know. And I'm grateful I have someone who…cares, you know."

Seth nodded and slid onto the seat next to her. She leaned into him and he rocked her slightly back and forth. "I care about you so much, Sum."

"I know you do," she smiled shyly. "I care about you too."

They sat in silence, each soaking in the other's words. Finally Summer dared to speak, breaking the perfection of the moment.

"Seth, I'm not sure I can do this," she admitted, with some hesitation.

"Do what?"

"This…all of this."

"Summer. What are you talking about?"

She shifted so she was facing him. "I've worked really hard not to be that Newport princess, that girl who lives for nothing but a new pair of Prada pumps and a new fuck buddy. And I almost became that girl. I was so, so, close, Seth."

He nodded. "What does this have to do with—?"

"I need to be able to do this on my own. I need to be able to support Audrey by myself, in every way, no matter how I do that. Do you understand?"

"What are you saying, Sum?" Seth asked, slightly hurt.

"Tomorrow I'm going back," she said determinedly. "Back to Los Angeles."

"Oh, Sum," he whispered. "Don't do that."

"I can't just sit here all day, every day," she explained. "I can't do that."

"You don't have to do that!" Seth protested. "You had a life here in Newport once, you can have a life here again. You can get a job here, send Audrey to school here…"

"I need to do this on my own."

"Then you can move out, but at least stay in Newport! Let me help you, let everyone help you…" Seth trailed off, talking speedily, trying to get her to understand.

"I have an apartment, I have jobs, and both Audrey and I have lives in L.A.," Summer explained gently.

Seth rested his head in his palms, bending over, frustrated and upset. Finally he looked up at her. "I can't stop you, can I?"

"Nope," she smiled slightly; apologetically.

"Never have been able to," he sighed. They were both thinking of those last few days in Providence. They hadn't realized at the time that those days would be the demise of their close relationship, one that had lasted years.

"Nope," she repeated, relaxing into him, calmed by the feeling of her body and his touching, letting him wrap an arm around her and forget what tomorrow would bring.

It had been a perfect day. They had taken Audrey to the beach and watched her spin until she fell into the sand, splash in the waves, scream and grin. Seth had assisted the little girl and they'd built an elaborate sandcastle only to be washed away midday. Summer had packed sandwiches, and Audrey found the 'sand' in the word 'sandwiches' to be the cleverest thing on earth.

It had been Seth, of course, who had pointed this out to her.

Summer was sad to be leaving him. She knew he was a good influence on Audrey, who seemed to smile more and laugh more all day. She knew he was good for herself, Summer, too. She knew that because she felt that that slight ache in the corners of her mouth on the drive back, like she'd smiled too much and her muscles were sore. She wished she could give this to Audrey. Days at the beach, with no obligations—besides having fun and being happy. A beautiful home to come back to. The feeling of being constantly loved, constantly adored, constantly appreciated. Summer tried to do this every day, but she knew she was being stretched thin, in more ways than one.

It was finally time to say goodnight. After putting Audrey to sleep, they had watched a movie, both falling asleep on the couch so that Summer was snuggled in the crook of Seth's arm. Finally they woke up as the movie's credits ended, and they walked upstairs, about to part.

"Sum?" Seth asked suddenly as she turned away from him. She spun back to face him. To him, she had never been more perfect then she was in her sweatshirt and pajama pants, her face without makeup, her hair pulled back and messy. Before she could respond, he drew his face near hers and quickly put his lips to hers before either he or she could panic and back away. But that didn't happen. Summer wrapped her arms around his neck, moving closer so their bodies were almost touching. Finally she broke away for air.

"You know how I said last night I'd sleep in Audrey's room?" She whispered huskily. He nodded. "Maybe I should try out yours."

His face brightened as his mouth spread into a wide grin, and she found this completely irresistible as she pecked his lips once more and slipped her hand into his as he led her into his bedroom. She sat down on his bed. He sat down next to her.

"What do you want to do?" He asked. She knew he was talking about more than whether they could kiss the night away, like they both wanted to. He was talking about the future. About the two of them.

"I want to forget, Cohen," she said, with such bitter honesty that Seth knew he couldn't deny her anything she asked. "I want to forget everything."

And he knew exactly what she meant. He always had.

He kissed her again, and this time she didn't break for air, and he slowly, gently pushed her down so her back was parallel to his mattress and he was parallel to her, his arms supporting him so she wouldn't be crushed. Though that was, really, all she wanted. To be crushed by him, overwhelmed by him, flooded by him—so that maybe Marcus and all those bad memories could be drowned away. She decided to ignore tomorrow and everything it would bring and focus on the moment, on Cohen, the only boy--man, now, really--whom she'd ever really loved. When he hesitated at the hem of her tank top, and again at the elastic of her pajama pants, she urged him on. When they were both divested of all their clothes and exploring each other like they hadn't in years and years, the chemistry that had always been there raging between them, Seth looked at her with the silent question that she answered with a firm nod, and in his swift movements he reversed every pain and hurt Marcus had caused her.

He did what she wanted him to. He helped her forget. He filled her by erasing the emptiness Marcus had placed in her. He was the antidote to her pain; her frustration, her agony. He put her back together in a way only he could do. Marcus had broken her, and he would break her again the next day, but for now, she was whole. And that was all she had ever wanted.


	7. Legendary

A/N: Title is after Lou Barlow's song "Legendary." This chapter was really hard to write, and I think it might be frustrating to read, but hopefully the end represents the direction things are going to go in. I got some really opinionated reviews on the last chapter, which was actually really great--it made me think a lot about this story and the characters. I know how upsetting it was to read about Summer planning to leave and Seth seemingly allowing her too, but I guess what I was trying to do was to illustrate how difficult it is to leave behind your life, even if it's not a great one. This chapter probably will make everyone who criticized the last chapter even more upset, but I'd like to hear your opinions regardless. In the end, I'm trying to create a story that is both thought-provoking and realistic, but at the same time, I love Seth and Summer and most of all Seth and Summer together. I promise that the story won't end on a sad note! Please let me know what you think of this chapter and the other ones coming up. I appreciate it so much. Thank you!

LEGENDARY

Seth woke up to an empty bed, crumpled sheets, and a scribbled note placed delicately on the pillow next to his. He knew that handwriting better than anyone else's. And he knew what had happened immediately.

He forced himself upright and walked into his kitchen, missing the cheerful little girl sitting at the table eating her cereal, and her beautiful mother next to her, satiated by watching her daughter's every move. His answering machine blinked red and he hit it anxiously, wondering if something had happened, but when he heard a coworker's voice drone on through the speaker, he hit the erase button. He already knew he needed to get back to work already. He already knew he'd taken enough days off already. He already knew that there was a trip to Hong Kong and another to London that had to happen in the near future.

So he unwillingly got in the shower, shaved, and put on a suit and tie, grabbing his briefcase and laptop angrily from where they lay on his closet floor. He snatched the note and shoved it in his pocket; he didn't have the heart to read it right then. Before leaving for work he tiptoed towards Audrey's room, hoping that by some stroke of luck Audrey would be playing on the floor and Summer would look up at him when he entered, smiling her dazzling smile, and they could have one more day.

They weren't there, and there wouldn't be one more day.

He shut the door when he saw the room empty, the bed made, and all traces of the two girls he thought he might be in love with, gone.

And he stormed down the stairs, got in his car, and drove towards the Newport Group, reality setting in.

"You're late," an irate Marcus, sitting on her sofa, said furiously when she entered, clutching suitcases, Audrey trailing her.

"Who are you?" Audrey asked, wrinkling her nose. She'd been moody ever since Summer had woken her up early in the morning to drive to Los Angeles, and she'd complained the whole ride home: why couldn't they stay? Why wasn't Seth coming? Why did they have to go home?

Marcus didn't respond. He simply looked at Summer, haggard and achy from carrying their bags and finally weaning herself off the painkillers. "I'll give you five minutes. I'll be in the bedroom."

Summer wished Seth was there right now to take Audrey and comfort her and care for her. But he wasn't. And she had made that choice. She wasn't sure it was the right one, but she had made it. "Audrey?"

"Mommy, who is that man?" Audrey asked, with a look of fear dancing across her face. Summer didn't have the heart to tell her baby that that scary man was her father.

"It doesn't matter," Summer replied desperately. "Go into your room, okay? Here. Let me come for a second."

"Who is that man?" Audrey asked again, raising her voice, on the verge of tears. Summer silently begged her daughter not to do this, not to do this now. This could ruin everything. This would be bad. They would get hurt. Summer couldn't get hurt. She couldn't get hurt now. She quickly rushed Audrey into her bedroom, setting her daughter up with two puzzles and some stuffed animals and putting on her headphones, hoping it might drown out the sounds of whatever was to come. She shut the door and watched Audrey's face slowly disappear behind it, the door closing on Audrey's brimming eyes.

She hesitated but knew she had to go back.

"Took you long enough," Marcus snapped, and she only bent her head in submission.

"What do you want, Marcus?"

"I want you to come here," Marcus instructed menacingly, "and I want you to undress me. All of me. And I want to push you up against this wall, and I want to fuck you hard. I want to fuck you so hard that you cry."

"Marcus, our four-year-old is in the next room, do you really expect me—"

"She's not mine, Summer!" Marcus snapped. "How many times have I told you that? And yet you never listen! Never!"

"My daughter is in the other room," Summer whispered, correcting herself subserviently, eyes glossy with watery tears. "I can't do this, Marcus. Please understand. I can't do this right now."

"And yet you're here," Marcus smiled cruelly. He stood, pacing around the room, as she plastered herself against the wall to stay away from him. "I know where you've been, Summer. You've been in Newport Beach, haven't you, with your old buddy Seth Cohen."

Summer willed herself not to scream. _It will only make things worse_, she chastised herself. "I was away," she said defiantly. "Any other detail is none of your business."

"And yet you try to guilt me out of doing what I'm about to do to you by pinning the parentage of your daughter on me," Marcus smirked. "You went to that fancy school, didn't you? Accepted to Brown? I think you should know the word—hypocrisy? But then again, you were kicked out…"

Summer's blood boiled. It was one of the most sensitive of topics for her; her expulsion from Brown had sent her on the path that had led her to where she was right at that moment. She still thought that if she'd been able to stay at college in Rhode Island, she would have been able to make things work with Seth. Her life would have been drastically different. "Don't go there."

"Don't go there?" Marcus laughed. "Summer, I can go wherever I want."

He stepped over to her, so they were a foot or so away. "I can be right here." He stepped closer, so their bodies were flush; his legs were spread to trap hers, his chest pushing back her soar abdomen and breasts, his hardening erection pushing onto her skin, his face glowering down at hers. Summer could only hope Audrey wasn't hearing any of this.

"Why do you always go back to him?" Marcus hissed as he pinned her struggling arms to the wall. She was just five foot two and he close to a foot taller, and she knew that there was no hope of escape at this point.

"To Seth?" She asked, smiling sadly. _Because he is the best thing that ever happened to me. Because he would be here in a second if I could just reach for the phone. Because he knows me, better than anyone does, better than I know myself._

"Yes, to Seth," Marcus mocked, and her flushed cheeks stung.

"I guess it's hard to forget your first love," she admitted shyly, feeling small and young and powerless before him.

"Undress me." He snapped, raging.

She looked at him with weary eyes. "Marcus—"

"I said, take off my clothes, you bitch!" He slapped her forcefully, a sharp noise sounding as his palm connected with her pale, already bruised cheek, and she stepped back to the wall again, fear illustrated in her emotive eyes and tired face. She bent her head down and stepped towards him, reaching out and struggling to work her thin fingers around the tiny buttons of his shirt. He kissed her neck as she did it, sucking and biting at her once perfect skin, and she tried to keep from crying as the shirt finally slipped away.

"My pants, whore," he reminded her when she hesitated. Jaw clenched, she unbuttoned and unzipped them, getting them off of him. He stood before her in his boxers, and he slapped her again, alerting her of what he wanted. She slid the elastic band of his boxers down, exposing him to her, as she prepared for what he would do to her next.

"One day you'll go there and you'll stay," Marcus hypothesized, referring to Seth's house, and Summer didn't know how to reply. "One day you'll think you have power of yourself."

Summer's eyes widened; she was outraged at this final insult. "I do have—!"

"You are nothing, Summer. Never tell yourself you are anything more than a white trash diner bitch and a fuck buddy. Not even good enough to be a trophy wife. You have nothing. And if Seth loved you as much as you think you love him, he would be here right now, saving your sorry ass. Wouldn't he?"

Summer's eyes were shut tight as silent tears made puddles in the corners of her eyes, flooding down her face. But he didn't care. He didn't care that he had just made her feel pain more sharp than he ever had before, just in those few words. It meant nothing to him. He systematically tore her from her clothes, taking little care to either her or the items as he removed them with no feeling, no emotion. She shivered nakedly as he stripped her down, her skeletal figure becoming more exposed as he tore through the thin cotton of her shirt and violently seized her pants, leaving her pressed against her bedroom wall in her loose bra and underwear, bare and revealed, a prisoner in her own home.

Finally she looked him in the eye as he removed her bra and underwear, her last pieces of self, her last pieces of decency. "He does love me," she whispered in a low voice, surprising both him and herself with her words.

"You can never think that," he said strictly, pushing her down to her knees before him, as her back throbbed in agony; it felt as though every bone in her body was on fire. "Nobody loves you, Summer. If somebody loved you, you wouldn't be here." He considered her for a moment, weak, below him, on the floor, her pain and struggle obvious on her face, before shoving her down further so her legs were curled up uncomfortably under her and every previous injury smarted with pain. He took her face roughly in his hands and pushed her mouth onto him, almost choking her with the forcefulness and vehemence with which he did so. "You can do better than that, Summer. Give me what I want. Blow me, you whore."

When she didn't, he let her go, and she panted to catch her breath, but before she realized what was happening, he had taken his lighter from the pocket of his pants on the floor and had brought it dangerously close to her face. Summer tried to stand but the pain in her legs prevented her from doing so, and she tried to scoot back instead. But he took the lighter and lit a cigarette, inhaling and breathing smoke into her face. She relaxed, her fear that he would light her on fire evaporated, but once he saw her without fear he snapped, he put out the cigarette on her bare breast. She shrieked in pain but the noise was lost as he shoved her lips to his mouth with his hands.

"You can never go to him, Summer," he warned, pausing for breath. "You can never leave. You can never leave me."

All she wanted was to run to Audrey's room and take her baby and leave. Leave forever. Leave, and go to Seth, and have everything be okay again. But she was stuck, stuck underneath Marcus, literally and figuratively.

Finally, after thrusting in and out of her so roughly and violently that Summer screamed with pain, he fell asleep, worn out and exhausted. In complete silence Summer edged out from beneath him, tiptoeing to her ripped clothes. She had to get out as quickly as poassible. She put them on as best she could, as her movement was limited and her limbs throbbing, and ran to Audrey, comforted by her daughter's sleeping figure on her carpeted floor. She wished she could carry her and prevent her from awakening, but she could hardly dress herself, let alone carry a four-year-old girl. She gently stirred Audrey and walked her sleepy daughter towards the door, taking with her only the carefully hidden wad of cash she always kept in the apartment.

Seth met them on a bench in the playground. Summer had called him helplessly, not knowing what else to do. His eyes became glassy when he saw Summer's destroyed face, and he knew that her body was probably in an even worse state. Audrey sat beside her mother, fast asleep. "Oh, Summer."

"I need you to take her for me," Summer said, her eyes aching with sadness. "I can't let her live like this."

"No, Summer. You can't do this—"

"All I have ever wanted was to give Audrey a good life. The life she deserved, " Summer explained, looking down. "And I failed, Seth. I failed her."

"You didn't fail her, Sum," he said sternly. "She loves you. She loves you so much. She loves you like you loved your mother."

That hit a chord with Summer, who lifted her face up so her eyes could meet Seth's. He winced visibly when he saw the purpling contusions and raw, red skin, the cuts and scrapes and bruises.

"Sum, I can't let you do this. Remember that day, two years back or so? When you got that call from the stepfather you'd never met, and he told you your mother was dead?" Summer showed no emotion. "Remember how I picked you up and we drove for hours, just driving around, and you cried harder than I'd ever seen you cry?"

"I thought she would come back," Summer whispered in admission. "Some day. I thought I'd at least see her again."

"If you want to give Audrey the best life you can, come with me," he urged. "I'm sorry I didn't force you both to stay with me earlier. This isn't fair to you and it isn't fair to Audrey. She needs her mother, and she also needs to never have to be scared of Marcus, to get the best education she can, to be around people who love her--"

"Yes."

"She needs—wait. Yes? You said yes?" Seth's face broke out in a wide grin, his eyes lighting up in excitement. She smiled too, a genuine smile, and she realized that things were going to be better. Things were going to be right.

"I said yes, Cohen. I'm saying yes. And I'm so sorry that I thought leaving was doing the right thing." Summer put her head in her hands as she realized the weight of her mistake. She should have learned the first time, should have understood the gravity of what she was doing. She got lost, caught up in her own mind, and Audrey and Seth were paying for it emotionally as much as she was physically. Finally, she understood that sometimes you had to accept help. Especially, she thought to herself, when it was offered by a man you loved.

Seth carried Audrey to his car, giving her a moment to collect herself, and then returned to the bench to carry Summer to the front seat. He placed her down as gently as he could, and they drove back to Newport in peaceful silence. Seth glanced over at the two girls as he drove, smiling silently at their sleeping forms, vowing to protect and love them for the rest of his life.


	8. World Spins Madly On

A/N: Title is "World Spins Madly On" by The Weepies. Read and review! The story gets a little more upbeat now, so I hope everyone likes it. Let me know.

WORLD SPINS MADLY ON

Seth dropped Audrey off at her usual day care, knowing that seeing Summer in the state she was in would be terrifying, although nothing new. Seth brought Audrey into her classroom and the wheels in his mind turned. He was happier knowing that the little girl would have more opportunities, more chances, back in Newport. He thought of the idea of Audrey attending kindergarten at Harbor, maybe; of watching her interact with a new generation of Newpsies. He had struggled growing up in Newport, but he saw the little girl's strength and knew that for her, it would be different.

He walked back to the car, where Summer sat, peacefully staring out the window. They sat in the parking lot for a few minutes, just thinking, side by side in the car. They knew everything was about to change; that there were so many maybes involved in what was going to happen. Seth knew, deep in his heart, that he loved her—he loved all of her, even that constant stubbornness that kept obstructing their path. He always had loved her, since before she had known who he even was. He knew that counted for something. It had to count for something. But he also knew that by loving her, he had to let her be. As much as he knew it was better for she and Audrey to be with him in Newport, getting everything they deserved and not struggling just to live, he also knew that she was in an extremely volatile and painful situation, and that she would carry mental and emotional scars for the rest of her life. He couldn't get in the way of that healing process with his desire for a relationship with her. It would take a long time for her to become Summer again, the Summer he once knew, and he had to let that happen by itself.

"How about," Seth began after hesitating, "we go back to your apartment and see if his car is there. If it isn't, we can go upstairs and pack up some of your things, just for the time being."

Summer nodded nervously. She frowned. "And if his car is there?"

"We'll drive around the neighborhood, or something. We won't go back in. You don't deserve to have to face him. Ever again."

Summer nodded, a solemn expression on her face. They stared into each other's eyes. Summer could feel the way he looked at her, not just her battered face and unkempt appearance, but everything about her—Seth knew her better than anyone. She looked at him—Seth Cohen, same Seth Cohen who had somehow managed to grasp a hold on her heart so many years ago—and wondered how she had let him go. Why she had decided she didn't need him anymore. Because she did need him, in every way possible, and she was ready to acknowledge it.

"What would you do if I kissed you right now?" Summer asked abruptly.

"Kiss you back," Seth replied honestly. And true to her word, she placed a hand on each side of his face and leaned in, kissing him softly so their lips touched and their faces melded. Seth put his hands on her sides loosely, knowing she was hurting, but just their warmth made Summer feel like everything that had already happened that morning had disappeared. Their hearts began beating rapidly, in sync, and the intensity of their kiss increased. Finally Seth broke away.

"I don't want to do this. Not yet. I don't want this to happen so you can ignore what happened with…him."

"You know it's not like that, Seth. You know I want this," Summer whispered. She didn't want to get in over her head either, not yet, but she also wanted him to know how she really felt about him. And every time she was near him, those feelings raged inside her.

"I know," Seth promised. "And I want this too, Sum. But I want to ease into this…this something. If it's anything."

They both sat for another minute in silence before Seth backed out of the parking lot, starting to drive towards Summer's apartment. After a few minutes more Summer spoke.

She looked at him lovingly. "I promise you, Cohen, it's something."

He grinned back. "I know."

…

"I told you not to lift anything!" Seth scolded Summer, entering her room as she reached on a shelf in a closet, standing on her toes. She stepped back to face him.

"Cohen!" She groaned. "I just need to get—"

He stepped next to her. "Tell me what you need."

She pointed up at a falling-apart brown suitcase silently, and he brought it down for her.

"How about you go sit?" Seth asked, pointing to the chair in the corner of her bedroom. They were both blatantly ignoring the bed, its sheets and blankets twisted on its surface, and everything it symbolized. "You really shouldn't even be standing up, Sum."

She sighed, but knew he was right. "Okay."

"So, you dictate," he said, moving to the dresser in the room. "Clothes?"

"Just take everything," she told him, waving towards the dresser.

"Sum, everything? That's like—" he opened the drawers, stunned at their contents. He had assumed she had kept at least some of her old wardrobe. Summer's clothing was her most treasured thing, at least it had been, once, and she had often during their relationship showed him lovingly the dress she had been wearing the day her mother left, or the shoes she had worn the night of their kiss at Caleb's party. Emotions were packed into each item. But that was all gone. None of the expensive tops or designer jeans she had always loved. Seth knew she had cut back, but not to this extent. "Jesus Christ. Summer—"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Where did it all go?"

"First year or so's rent. I sold everything."

"All those—"

"Everything, Cohen. I needed the cash."

"I hate that you had to do that."

"Believe me, I am too. I would have loved for Audrey to have some of those things." She sighed wistfully. "But it's clothing. And it's not a dire necessity." Her eyes teared up slightly, and Seth had a feeling she was thinking about everything she had let go—her beautiful prom dresses, her mother's Chanel handbags, the pairs and pairs of the Manolos she loved so much.

Seth knew she needed a minute, so he quickly took everything in the set of drawers—not more than a few pairs of jeans, some sweatpants, and a handful of basic tops. He scooped it all up and placed the small stacks in her suitcase, and went over next to her, kneeling down so he was at her level while she was sitting. He rubbed his hands back and forth over her arms, and looked at her meaningfully. "We're going to figure this out."

She eyed him cautiously. "Just because I'm moving in with you…I don't want to take advantage of...what you have." He didn't speak. "Cohen?"

"Please, please understand I don't think of it that way," Seth begged her.

"You might not, but…but I do." She looked at him firmly. "I'm finding it hard just to accept this, Cohen. Baby steps, okay? I'm not used to having this much…this much everything."

"Okay," he nodded. "Baby steps."

Summer picked out a few more basic things to pack, and packed up Audrey's clothing, and Seth told her that the next day he'd find a mover to take everything in the apartment and bring it over to his place. Finally Summer turned off the light, shut the door, and Seth led her out. She walked down the stairs slowly, each step causing her torso and legs to throb, but it gave her time to think. She was saying goodbye to the apartment, to her bad neighborhood in LA, to a part of her life. Everything was going to change, and she knew she had to let it. Seth slipped his hand around hers and they walked to his car. He helped her in, put the suitcase and few boxes in the trunk, and turned the car on. They would get Audrey and go back to Newport, back to where Summer knew she belonged.

…

"We need to talk," Seth told Summer as they both watched Audrey swim around in the pool, supported by her water wings. "How would you feel about Audrey going to preschool at Harbor?"

"I can't let you pay for that, Cohen," Summer reminded him. "That's incredibly expensive, and I wouldn't dream of allowing you to do that."

"Sum—"

But she interrupted his attempts at refusing, sick of dancing around the heavy emotions that were swimming around them. "Cohen, I'm in love with you."

He stared at her, stunned. She was still gazing at him. They were seated in chairs on the patio, across the table from one another, and he stared at her face—broken, beaten, but full of honesty. "Summer."

"And—" she was almost in tears now, and he could tell that her anxiety and her truthfulness were raging inside her. "And I'm ready for this. I'm ready for all of this. But I've been with Marcus for so long. And with him, it's always been like—I'd give him sex, and he'd give me cash to feed my daughter. And I know it was sick but—I got used to it. And I'm not saying that's what I want, at all, because I love you, not like I would tell Marcus I did when he would force it out of me, but—I actually do. And if you want to be there for Audrey and for—for me, and I know you do because I see it, in your eyes, and in everything you've done for us already—then I, well, um, I want to be with you. I want to be with you, Cohen."

He could not describe his happiness. It was similar to that night when he'd been upside down in the rain, wishing anyone could come save him, before realizing it was Summer, beautiful Summer, running towards him and kissing him square on the lips—nowhere near Italy, and not with Zach. It was similar to standing up on that coffee cart—that goddamned coffee cart—and blurting out some embarrassing, adoring words, and then realizing it was Summer actually next to him, Summer kissing him. It was similar to running up on stage at their junior prom, knowing that she was more important than any comic book he could ever create, any hero he could ever meet, any girl he could ever be with.

"Really?" he whispered, and she was taken aback by his naiveté, his innocence, his hopefulness, and the honesty and love painted all over his face.

"Really," she promised, a slight breeze whipping around the loose pieces that hung around her pale and bruised face. She repeated the word decisively. "Really."

"So you'll move in? For…" he trailed off hesitantly, but then made up his mind to keep going. "For good?"

She nodded. "For as long as you'll have us."

"Forever," Seth promised her. "Okay? Forever."

"Okay," she grinned, exhilarated. She stared at him for a second. "Could you come here?"

He looked at her worriedly, but dutifully got out of the patio chair and came around to her side. She reached her arms up towards him, pulling his face down close to hers firmly, and kissed him with everything she was feeling, with happiness and excitement, relief and satisfaction. Finally she pulled away. "I just needed to do that."

He laughed. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For everything."

"And thank you too, Cohen. Thank you more than you'll ever know."

They both glanced over to see Audrey staring at them and giggling. Seth looked at Summer, smiling. "I think I know, Sum."

…

"What are we going to do about tomorrow?" Summer asked quietly, sitting on Seth's bed, as he put on a t-shirt and boxers to sleep in.

"Tomorrow?" Seth clarified.

"My work, and Audrey…" Summer began, and Seth could see how conflicted and confused she was. And he didn't blame her. Everything had been moving quickly, all day.

He put one hand on each of her shoulders. "All I want is for you and Audrey to be healthy and safe and _happy_. Okay?"

She smiled, more in love with him then she could have thought possible. "Okay."

"Will you let me drive you and Audrey over to Harbor in the morning to register for preschool?" Seth asked seriously.

Summer nodded. "Yeah. I'm ready."

"And if you want to go to work, I won't stop you. I know how much it means for you to be independent. And I don't want you to feel like I'm locking you up."

She positively shone. "And I'll quit the dancing, and I can work out some easier hours at the diner, so that I'll be around more. For Audrey, and for you now, too."

"Aha!" Seth grinned. "Now I get to be in the equation, huh?"

"You do," she laughed, blushing and looking down.

"By the way—do you think you'll be ready for the inevitable Kirsten and Sandy reunion soon? You know, they're dying to see you." Seth lay down on the bed next to her, stretching out. She slid so that she was lying down next to him and lightly rubbed her fingers up and down his arm.

"I'm ready whenever," she agreed. "I've missed them."

"Believe me, they've missed you too. And as soon as they found out you had a kid—you know my mom. A visit had to be planned immediately." Summer laughed, remembering Kirsten, the woman who had been her mother in high school when she hadn't had one.

"Is she still doing NewMatch?" Summer asked curiously, remembering Kirsten and Julie's dating company.

"Sold it," Seth replied. "For a hell of a lot of money, actually. But they set up a new company, a party planning service."

"Convenient."

"Very. I'm fairly sure they just wanted the best napkin-ring-designer and whoever on their side for their own parties, but it's been working out really well."

"I'm glad, Cohen."

"I'm glad, too." They both sighed, content, enjoying the comfortable conversation between them and relishing in each other's company. Seth was happier than he'd ever been with Summer beside him, and vice versa.

After a few more minutes, they turned out the lights and crawled under the soft comforter, laying next to one another in silence.

"Hey Cohen?" Summer whispered after a while, wondering if he was still awake. He was.

"Yeah?"

"I have something to tell you." She inhaled sharply, knowing what she was going to say.

"Yeah?"

He was fairly sure what was coming, but Seth's heart was beating wildly. He was slightly numb with the thought of what was going to come out of her perfect lips next, and yet he wanted to hear it desperately.

"I love you, Seth Cohen. I love you more now than I ever have before."

There. She said it. She sighed with relief, happy to just have put it out there. It had been building up inside her for the longest time, and now it was out. She had come a long way since they had been together last, when she could never tell him what was on her mind and in her heart. She had been young, then, and afraid and confused, and had never been able to express herself to him. But now she was different, and she acknowledged her old mistakes. They would never have to be apart again.

"Sum?"

"Yes?" She asked, suddenly nervous.

"I love you, too. And I never stopped."

That was all she needed to hear. She turned over so she was facing him, and gently placed a slow, warm kiss on his lips, one that made sure he knew how much love she had. And he did know. More than anything else in the world.


	9. Take Me Home

A/N: Title is for the song "Take Me Home" by Aqualung. Sorry it's been a while since the last chapter went up! Anyway, read and review, please--I love to know what people think, good or bad. Thank you!

TAKE ME HOME

"Good morning, girls," Seth chuckled as he walked into his kitchen wearing boxers and a bathrobe, seeing Audrey perched atop a counter eating a banana and Summer with her back turned at the stove.

"Cohen!" Summer squealed when he came up behind her, tickling her side gently. "I'm cooking," she scolded lightly, a grin dancing on her face that immediately erased any note of irritation in her voice.

"I see that," he commented, his tone laced with mock dubiousness. "You sure that's a good idea?"

"Mommy's a good cook," Audrey promised, crinkling her nose. "Mostly."

"Should I believe you, little girl?" Seth laughed, picking Audrey up and swinging her over his shoulder so she shrieked.

"I'm a big girl! I have a big girl bed!"

Seth looked at Audrey pensively for a second before speaking. "How do you feel about school, Aud?"

"Real school?"

"Sort of," Seth nodded, trying to remember his experiences at Harbor's pre-K and remembering close to nothing besides painting, blocks, and sitting in a circle.

"I want to go to school!"

"Then it's your lucky day." He set her down and glanced up, seeing Summer gazing at him with her daughter, her deep brown eyes full of wonder and amazement. He felt a burning sense of pride that he had put that wonder and amazement there. He knew what they had was special, and he wanted to protect and defend that to the extent of his ability.

"Can I go put on school clothes?" Audrey begged excitedly.

Summer nodded silently and Audrey scurried out of the kitchen.

"Like mother, like daughter, huh?" Seth asked jovially. He noticed Summer still wasn't reacting. "Sum?

"You're perfect," she whispered wondrously.

"Well, that's certainly what I like to hear."

"No, really, Cohen. You're perfect."

"Almost as perfect as you," he replied, kissing her forehead softly. She closed her eyes, savoring the feeling of his lips on her delicate skin.

"Breakfast is ready," she told him, smiling and laying pancakes and bacon onto a plate. He snatched a piece of bacon with his fingers before she could swat him and grinned.

After a moment, he paused in chewing long enough to respond. "Audrey doesn't lie."

"Like mother, like daughter," Summer taunted, smirking, as she handed Seth his plate. They sat down together at the wooden kitchen table, Summer pouring them coffee and Seth pouring them juice, enjoying the Newport sunlight streaming in through the windows and big French doors, warm and bright and full of memories.

"This is delicious," Seth complimented. "I'm impressed."

"Thanks. I know I can never make up for what you've given us, but I want to try—"

"Hey," Seth interrupted sternly, his eyes suddenly serious. "You have nothing to make up for, Sum. I need you to understand. I'm so glad that I could give you and Audrey a better life—but you've given me a better life too, in a different way. Okay? Before all of this, I was all about my work; I tried to forget everything that had happened. I tried to erase my past. You taught me, Sum…that I can't do that."

She nodded and leaned over to kiss him, not knowing another way to respond. It was as if every word he said matched with every word she had so desperately wanted to hear for so long. He knew her fears, her insecurities, the anxiety that was buried deep inside her, and he knew what to say and do to fix it. It only made her hope that she could do the same thing for him.

"Tomorrow morning will be my turn for breakfast, okay?" Seth said suddenly. Summer shrugged, agreeing, knowing that he wanted to level the playing field, even though she wouldn't have minded making breakfast every morning forever, as long as he was there eating next to her. Then Audrey ran in, wearing a tiny purple cotton dress and baby converse sneakers, holding her hairbrush out with one hand.

"Mommy? Will you help me with my hair?" She asked.

"Of course, baby." She turned to Seth. "I'll be back in one sec."

"Okay. But I want you to eat more, alright?"

"I'm fine, Seth," Summer groaned, secretly loving how protective and caring he was.

"Please? I'm worried about you."

"Want to wrap me up a pancake in a paper towel to go after I finish playing stylist?"

Seth grinned widely, pleased with their compromise. "Okay."

After signing some paperwork, Audrey was hand in hand with her preschool teacher, being led to a big, bright classroom with blocks and painting and dolls and books and everything Summer had always wished her daughter's daycare in LA had had. The entire application and admission process had been waived, and Summer was grateful. The double legacy and Seth's high position at the Newport Group and his status in Newport as a whole had shortened the usually months-long process down to about forty minutes.

"Where to, your highness?" Seth asked when he and Summer got back in the car in the Harbor parking lot. Audrey would be in preschool every day until two, with an optional after school program where she could stay for a few hours after the end of the regular day, and it wasn't even nine in the morning. Time felt limitless.

"Bus stop."

"Bus stop?"

"I'm going to work, Cohen. We already discussed this."

"I'm driving you."

"I can take the bus."

"You don't want me to drive you?"

"I would love it if you drove me. I don't need you to drive me, and I know you have work to do at the Newport Group. In fact, I'm sure you do. Especially because you've been spending so much time with me and Audrey."

"You're more important than the Newport Group to me."

"Regardless? The bus won't kill me."

"Sadly, you're in my car, and that means I get to decide where we go."

"So where are we going?"

"A certain Lucille's Diner, in Los Angeles, California."

"You're so stubborn!" Summer laughed once they had set out, heading towards the highway that would bring them towards L.A.

"Likewise," Seth smiled, rubbing the knuckles of her left hand with his thumb. She sighed contentedly.

Finally they arrived, Seth deciding not to park and instead pulling the car up to the entrance of the diner. "So for later?" He asked.

"I'll check the bus schedule and call you when I'm going to come in, and then maybe you could pick me up at the stop?" Summer asked.

"I meant, what time should I pick you up?"

"I don't want you to do this."

"I'll only do it until you have a car. We'll go check some out this weekend, how's that?"

"I would protest but I know you won't let me," Summer sighed.

"There we go! She's learning!" Seth laughed, and Summer shoved his shoulder gently. "How about I come in with you so we can discuss hours with your boss?"

"You never give up," she said in awe as he got out of the car quickly to open the passenger for her before she could get out on her own.

"Never," he said seriously. Summer smiled and followed him into Lucille's Diner.

"Hi, Marcia," Summer said. "Lou in?"

"Sure. In the back," the older woman with poorly dyed auburn hair replied.

Summer led Seth through the restaurant until they found Lou—an obese, balding guy in a white t-shirt and apron. "Lou?"

"So, Summer Roberts decides to show up for work," he laughed snarkily. Seth opened his mouth to protest but Summer squeezed his hand warningly.

"Look, Lou, I moved to Newport. I'm going to have to change my hours around, and I wanted to talk to you."

"Give me a good reason I shouldn't fire you."

"Because the chances that the girl you'd hire to replace me would do the job as well as I do are slim to none," Summer retorted saucily. Lou considered her words while Seth's mouth set in a line with corners upturned, sensing the return of the bossy, won't-take-no Summer he had known so well in the past.

"What do you want if I let you stay?" Lou inquired.

"Nine to one."

"That's four hours, Summer. How did we go from eight to four to nine to one? You want to cut your hours in half?"

"I moved, I told you. Transportation added in…give me a break, Lou."

"The shift is eight to four. Take it or leave it, Roberts."

Seth squeezed her hand and Summer knew exactly what he wanted her to do. Leave the job at Lucille's. Live in Newport, find a job there if she really wanted one. But she was determined not to let Newport infiltrate every aspect of her life. Newport Beach had been who she was until she was eighteen, and she wasn't going to allow it to be who she was again.

"I'll take it."

"Put on your uniform, then," Lou retorted. "Table five needs more coffee."

"Thanks, Lou."

"Get to it, girl!" He spat. Lou was not particularly known for his kindness.

"Summer," Seth whispered. "Don't do this. Don't do this to yourself."

"You'll pick me up at four?" She whispered quietly, lowering her eyes so she wouldn't have to make eye contact with him. She was too ashamed.

"Do you want me to pick up Audrey at two or let her stay until five with the after school program?"

"She can stay," Summer told him, even though she would have said to pick her up earlier if she didn't feel guilty for taking away from his time at work already. "We can get her on our way back to your house."

"On our way back home," Seth emphasized.

"Roberts!" Lou shouted. "Get to goddamned table five, you hear me?"

"I have to go," Summer pulled away from Seth, tearing slightly. "I love you?"

"I love you too," Seth sighed, not happy with the outcome.

She watched him leave before going into the employee room and sliding on that embarrassing ensemble again, the short pink and white dress with the heavy apron and the painful high-heeled pumps, grabbing the coffee pot and a tray, pouring the truckers at table five their coffee and then picking up the assorted plates covered in grease and ketchup on tables three and four, balancing them carefully on her tray and carrying it back to the kitchen, steadying it awkwardly on her still injured shoulder.

Seth watched her for a few more minutes without her noticing, before putting the key into the ignition of his car and driving back to Newport.

"Please don't say anything," Summer said quietly as she slipped into Seth's car, which was waiting dutifully outside, after her shift. She was relieved to see Audrey snoozing in the backseat, strapped into her car seat.

Seth's jaw was gaping. Her left arm was covered in a brand new splotchy, dark bruise. He looked up at her with eyes wide. "Summer?"

"Please—Cohen. Please just do me this one small favor and I'll explain it later?" Summer asked, turning to him and begging him with her eyes, which were watering.

"As you wish," he said simply. They drove in silence, both thinking deeply, before finally reaching his house in Newport. Their house. Summer picked up Audrey, adjusting her over her shoulder carefully while carrying the sleeping child inside.

He came into the bedroom fifteen or so minutes later, watching her wince as she rubbed her feet at the edge of the bed—visibly red and swollen from eight hard hours of work.

"Here," he said soothingly. "Let me help you." He sat down at the end of the bed and let her lay down so that her feet were in his lap. Her head hit the pillow softly and she smiled at him as he began to massage her feet. He hated this whole situation. He wondered where the high school Summer, little miss weekly pedicure Summer, had gone—to be replaced by this Summer, with cracked, blistered, aching feet, which had been mercilessly shoved into the horrible high heels he saw in the corner of the room. He pressed down on the ball of each foot and she moaned quietly, clearly enjoying both the massage and his touch. Then he spoke. "So, you want to tell me what happened to give you those bruises?"

"Customer got a little rough," she said nonchalantly. "Don't worry, Lou got him off me. Nothing happened. Just the bruising."

"Just the bruising!" Seth sighed exasperatedly. He paused, realizing that making a big deal out of the whole thing would make her upset. "Does it hurt?"

"A little," she admitted. "It was mostly just scary, not painful or anything. He just grabbed me by the arm."

"I wish I'd been there."

"You would have tried to kick his ass," Summer smiled warmly, "and then he would have kicked yours." He laughed with her, knowing this was entirely true.

"Do you have to go back tomorrow?" Seth asked her quietly, knowing what her answer would be.

"No," Summer replied.

"No?" Seth asked, disbelieving.

"I told Lou I quit."

"Summer!" Seth exclaimed happily, kissing her on the lips lightly.

"I want to get a job, Seth. I want to help support Audrey. Us. As a family. But I know there's a better way to do it, I just have to find it first."

"I'm proud of you, Sum."

"Good, I mean, that's what I want. I want you to be proud of me. It's just hard for me to let you do all this for me. I'm not used to—"

"Letting someone take care of you," Seth filled in. She nodded. "It's going to be different now, Sum. I love you, and I love Audrey, and I'm going to take care of you and protect you and be there for you in every way I can. Okay?"

"I'm ready," she nodded. Finally, it was all turning around for her, and she was letting it all happen.


	10. Mine to Remember

A/N: So there are only going to be two more chapters after this one, and then maybe an epilogue that will lead into a potential sequel I'm thinking about, so please review! I've been missing some of my commenters lately and I really love getting people's opinions. Regardless, I hope you enjoy reading this story. This chapter is called "Mine to Remember", which is a really great song by an artist called WAZ, who is somewhat obscure but incredible. Check it out!

MINE TO REMEMBER

When Seth awoke the next morning to an empty bed, he panicked momentarily. His heart dropped fully when he bounded into Audrey's room and saw that her bed and the bathroom were both empty. His world spun wildly as his eyes stopped being able to focus, and a sinking sense of dread settled in his stomach. He clenched his fist.

"Shit," he hissed, his voice reverberating as he entered the kitchen.

"You know, that's a bad word." Audrey was standing at the doorway, looking at him condescendingly, and despite his general anger and frustration, he couldn't help but chuckle. The little girl continued. "My mom went for a run on the beach and she also said she had to go to the grocery store. And you are supposed to go to work when she comes back."

"Your mom told you to tell me all that?" Seth asked, calming down as the little girl bobbed her head in reply. "You know, you are more and more like your mom every day," he laughed, walking over to her and swinging her up so she was seated comfortably on his shoulders. "You know what? How about we go out and do something today, me and you? Before I go to work?"

"That sounds good," she said agreeably. "I won't tell my mommy you said that."

"Thanks," he grinned, adoring her affability and her sauciness, her personality mimicking the woman he loved most. "How about you go get dressed and I will take you to get some of the best food in the world?"

"Peanut butter and jelly?" She inquired.

"Better," he promised. Her eyes grew large and she raced upstairs to get ready for an adventure with Cohen.

…

"What do you think?" Seth asked, gazing at his brunch companion's serious face.

"It's really good," Audrey determined, after chewing thoughtfully and thinking for a few moments. "I mean, my mom's PB&J is like really, really good, but this is maybe second place."

"Alright, fair enough, I can take that," Seth nodded, taking a large bite of his own burger, finishing it off with a slurp of the best chocolate milkshake in Southern California. Though he had traveled extensively all though the country and the world, he had never found a diner with a combination of burger, cheese fries, and milkshake to rival that of the diner on the pier in Newport Beach, where so many of his memories had taken place. "You know, I used to take your mom here all the time."

"Really?"

Seth laughed. "Oh yeah. We came here whenever we had to talk, or just to hang out. It was like our own special place."

"Were you and my mom best friends when you were little?" Audrey asked.

"Sort of, you could say that," Seth started. "When we were a little older, though. When we were like sixteen."

"Tell me a story."

"A story?"

"About my mommy and you, when you were sixteen," Audrey explained.

"Oh, wow," Seth laughed, going through the stories in his mind, trying to find one that would be both understandable and appropriate for a four-year-old girl. "Once, we got stuck in the mall for a whole night."

Audrey cracked up. "You got stuck? In the mall?"

"It was completely empty except for me and your mom and two of our friends. Well, my brother, and another friend."

"Ryan and Marissa," Audrey filled in knowingly.

"You know about Ryan and Marissa?" Seth asked, surprised. He wouldn't have thought that Summer would tell her daughter so much information about her past.

"Sure," Audrey nodded, laughing at the notion that she wouldn't know about Ryan and Marissa. "They met in the driveway, and Ryan was from far away but he moved in with you and he was your brother, and it was like Marissa was a princess and Ryan was the prince, because he was always saving her, whenever she needed him."

"What did your mom tell you about me and her?"

"That she was really mean and had mean friends except for her best friend Marissa but then Marissa started talking to Ryan so she started talking to you a little when you went to Mexico, and then she realized she actually liked you a lot and so you guys talked all the time and all four of you were like best friends, at school and stuff."

"That's pretty good," Seth nodded, happy with this child-sized version of the tale he considered near epic. "You know, you're going to go to the school we went to some day."

"Really?" Audrey's eyes widened.

"Yeah. It's a pretty special place, you know? You're going to meet a lot of interesting people. And some of them won't be so nice, or so smart—sort of like your mom's old friends. But you're stronger than that, and I know you're always going to be the kind of girl who does the right thing and is nice to everyone, right?"

"Of course," Audrey laughed. "Just like my mom says, I have to keep my head on straight and turned the right direction."

"Exactly," Seth smiled, gazing at the girl sitting at the booth, who seemed, in his eyes, limitlessly tough and smart and brave. He was proud of her, and proud of the woman who had done such a good job in raising her, and proud that he could be in their lives.

…

Summer was nestled in bed that night when she heard Seth come in from work, and she instantly felt happy, her pink lips curling into a dreamy, peaceful smile. There was something about his presence, just knowing he was near, that made all the painful memories and hard thoughts in her head mellow out so that she could focus. It was like there had been a buzz, a constant buzz, since they had last been together, and that now that they were together again it had faded.

This inner happiness stopped promptly when she looked up from her spot in bed and saw the tortured expression on his face.

"Seth, what's wrong?" She asked quickly, growing anxious when he didn't immediately respond. She sat up in bed, panicking slightly. "Seth? What's going on?"

"I just got a call from the office," Seth sighed, frowning in frustration. He sat down next to her on the bed, putting his hand on her knee. "They need me to make an emergency trip."

Summer pouted teasingly. "I can spare you for a few hours. But seriously, this late at night they need you? You have one powerful job, Mr. Cohen."

"No, they don't need me tonight." He looked at her, pained, knowing she was going to hate this. "They need me tomorrow. In London."

"London?" She asked abruptly, her eyes widening.

"For ten days," Seth continued, hanging his head. He was just as upset as she was about to be.

"You have to go?" She questioned him quietly, evaluating the situation. She didn't want to be needy, but in reality, she was—she was needy. She needed him with her. She needed him desperately.

"Yeah. I promise you, it's the last thing I want to be doing, but I can't—"

"I understand," Summer replied simply. She was sad, but not angry. There wasn't anything he could do about the situation.

"You do?" He asked, surprised. "I thought you were going to be completely pissed."

"I'm sad, and I'm going to miss you," she smiled, and he grinned back—she was too cute not to. "But I know it's not in your power."

He crawled into bed next to her, pulling the comforter over the both of them and poking her leg with his foot. "We'll talk on the phone every day."

"Multiple times," she continued, laughing.

"You'll tell me every single funny thing Audrey says and I can give you summaries of all my boring meetings," he teased.

"Sounds like a deal."

"We can even do more than that…" he winked suggestively.

She squealed. "Cohen! Are you kidding me?" After shoving him, she curled up against him, leaning her cheek on his chest, knowing this would be the last time they could be like this again for a while, and realizing that she was going to relish every moment until he had to go.

…

"Say goodbye, baby," Summer instructed Audrey as the little girl looked up to see Seth wearing a suit and holding a briefcase. "Seth is going to go away for a while, okay?"

"But I'll see you later, right?" Audrey asked, eyes widening, horrified. She stood up from her spot on the living room floor where she had been playing with some toys, looking up at Seth. It was clear she was still fragile. Summer knew that she had messed with her baby girl's head and heart recently. It was hard for anyone, let alone a confused four-year-old, to have someone so important enter and exit and reenter their life, and that was exactly what Summer had forced Seth to do. Audrey's anxiety was clearly not unwarranted, but Summer hoped she could fix it.

"In a little more than a week," Seth replied honestly, frowning.

"How long is a week?" Audrey asked in her little voice. Summer was going to cry. She realized how much Seth meant to Audrey and she was so glad of it. Audrey's life had improved since they'd made their move to Newport, Seth had been right. Audrey had completely come out of her shell, she was bolder and more vibrant and she even laughed more. She loved Seth, and they had the relationship that Summer had always dreamed that Audrey would someday have with a father.

"A few days," Summer said airily, not wanting to depress her daughter. Seth understood.

"I'm going to miss you, Cohen," Audrey said earnestly, going over to Seth and wrapping her arms around his legs, hugging him tightly. Her adoption of Summer's longtime nickname for Seth was appreciated by the two adults, loving that the memory of the early years of their relationship would be carried out into the future.

"I'm going to miss you too, Aud," Seth grinned. "Take care of your mom, okay?"

"Okay," Audrey nodded seriously. It was as if she understood what he meant, that Summer would have a hard time giving him up, and that the two girls would lean on each other without him until he returned.

…

Summer walked Seth to his cab for their own goodbye. As they walked down the driveway, she realized that he was leaving her for over a week, and she wondered if she could manage.

Seth could read her mind. They stopped a few yards from the taxi that was waiting for Seth. "You're going to be fine, Sum." He tucked a few loose wisps of dark smooth hair behind her ear, stroking her cheek gently with a patient thumb. She was trying not to cry, trying not to be that dependent girl she had always detested, but it was hard to think of what it would be like to be alone for the next ten days. She had done it for years before, but now that she had a taste of what life with Seth Cohen was like again, she wasn't sure she could manage without him.

"I'll call you constantly," he promised. "You'll get bored of my voice."

"You know that would never happen," she smiled. He carefully but firmly wrapped his arms around her petite frame, and she swallowed a sob as he rocked her back and forth. "I love you, Seth. You saved my life."

"I love you too, Summer." He released her briefly and pulled something out of his pocket. "Now look, I don't want you to say a word. I did this one hundred percent for my own reassurance and peace, okay?"

"Okay," she nodded, then realized that he had pulled a credit card out. The bottom had Summer Roberts embossed into its plastic. "Seth—"

"Hey, you promised," he smiled. "I just want to make sure you're safe and secure while I'm gone, okay? In case anything happens."

"Anything where I need to buy stuff, you mean?" Summer laughed.

"Think about it this way," Seth smiled, glad she wasn't panicking with the new development. "If you miss me too much and are completely depressed, you could go for some retail therapy."

"I haven't done that in forever," she realized out loud.

"Exactly," Seth agreed. "Indulge yourself, okay? That's an order."

She was tired of arguing with him and after everything that happened, she wasn't ashamed of her circumstances anymore. She had gone through so much, and the pain and frustration would be internalized within her soul forever. The memories were not going to fade just because she accepted Seth's help and support, and she could still be independent and strong and Audrey's mother while still being the Summer she had abandoned long ago. She could do both, she just had to learn how.

"Can I say thank you?" She asked cheekily. He smiled broadly, and she caught his smile in one last, passionate kiss.

"You're going to miss your flight," she murmured into his mouth, and finally they broke apart. He slid into his taxi, suitcase secured in the trunk and laptop case in the backseat with him. He rolled down the window and waved all the way until he couldn't see her anymore, and she waved back long after that. They were strong enough to manage ten days, and she walked back into the house smiling, proud of that. They were strong.


	11. Details in the Fabric

A/N: Sorry for the long wait! Next chapter is the finale, but I'm thinking about and planning a sequel. This chapter's song is "Details in the Fabric," Jason Mraz ft. James Morrison. Great song off Jason Mraz's new album. Anyway, please review if you can--I'd love to get your opinions on the end of the story. Thanks guys!

DETAILS IN THE FABRIC

"Summer," Kirsten gasped, as she swung open their front door to reveal the girl she'd thought they had lost forever, holding hands with her own little girl. "Oh, Summer."

Summer's eyes watered happily. "I hope it's okay that we just showed up."

"Of course, of course," Kirsten said, ushering Summer and Audrey into the house quickly, leading them into a comfortable sitting room. "Sandy! Come down here, we have guests!"

Summer laughed, glad to be back in the bustle and warmth of the Cohens' household. The memories she had of them were all associated in the house where she was living, but something about Kirsten and Sandy and their relationship made her feel at home as soon as she entered their new house. "Kirsten, this beach house, it's gorgeous."

"Thank you, honey," Kirsten smiled. "But what is really gorgeous is your little girl." She leaned towards Audrey, bending down to reach the little girl's level despite her age. "Hi, I'm Kirsten."

"I'm Audrey," Summer's daughter announced precociously. "I'm four, and I go to preschool."

Kirsten laughed, taken aback and impressed. "Wow, do you like it?"

"Yes, I love school!" Audrey smiled brightly. "I moved with my mommy and now we live in a really pretty house and my school has painting and dress-up, and I get to play with Seth every day. Do you know Seth?'

"I'm Seth's mommy," Kirsten explained.

Audrey's eyes widened. "Really? That's so cool!"

"I would put it differently," Kirsten chuckled to Summer, who grinned. "I'm so glad you two popped up. Honestly, I've missed you, Summer."

"I've missed you too, Kirsten," Summer promised the older woman, reveling in the truthfulness of her statement. Never had an adult relationship been as stable and secure as Kirsten and Sandy's seemed, and she had always thought back to it enviously as she suffered through the years of the complicated and torturous relationship she had with Marcus. "Being back is…it's incredible."

"I'm happy you're back. You don't know how much of a difference it has really made to Seth," Kirsten began. "He went through some hard times, you know? I think he's felt lost for some time now."

"Really?" Summer's curiosity was piqued.

"You know, he never wanted to really be involved in the Newport Group, and he was thrown into it—I think he's just been very lonely and somewhat frustrated. But since you've been back in his life, Summer…even on the phone he's just seemed so much more alive."

Summer was full of happiness and pride and peace. Finally, this was the way everything was supposed to work out. She had always felt as though she and Seth would never be able to apart, and she had been right. Theirs was not a basic high school relationship, and they shared a bond that hadn't disappeared even after so much time had passed and their lives had diverged so sharply.

All of a sudden, there was Sandy, eyebrows and all, scooping Summer into a hug.

"And she makes her return!" He grinned brightly, making Summer feel warm again. Kirsten and Sandy had been the parents she dreamed of having, the people who always managed to make her feel welcome and valued, even when her own home life was falling apart. Theirs was the family she felt as though she belonged to, the cast of unlikely characters—Seth, Ryan, Marissa, and Summer herself—that had formed an unimaginably close friendship. "It's great that you're back, sweetie."

"It's great to be back!" Summer exclaimed. "This is my daughter, Audrey." Sandy and Audrey were introduced, and it was clear that Audrey immediately loved the older man. Sandy had always been good with kids—obviously this was where Seth had gotten his natural comfort and ease with her little girl from—and he was immediately impressed with Audrey's intelligence and quick laughter.

Summer was quick to agree to a Thai dinner, something she hadn't had in years and years since she'd had dinner at their house in high school when she was dating Seth, and she was excited to give Audrey the opportunity to experience the Cohen family tradition. As she watched her daughter interact with Kirsten and Sandy, she was overwhelmed with happiness; this was all she had wanted for her little girl, the comfort and love that a real family provided. As Sandy and Kirsten played and laughed with Audrey until it was far past Audrey's bedtime, Summer realized that this was it. This was perfect.

Kirsten walked Summer out to the car as Sandy went ahead of them, carrying a sleeping Audrey over his shoulder.

"Thank you for coming over," Kirsten said earnestly. "We love having all our kids with us, you included, Summer."

"Thank you," Summer whispered, hoping that Kirsten understood how honored and pleased she was with only those simple words. Summer had always wanted a family, wanted love, and Kirsten and Sandy had provided her with that. "So Kirsten…how do you feel about some shopping?"

Kirsten grinned broadly. "Now that you're back in Newport, feeling the need to replenish your Newpsie wardrobe?"

"You got it," Summer nodded. The two women made a plan for the next day and Kirsten and Sandy, his arm around her waist, waved as Summer drove off with Audrey in the backseat. They all felt contented and purely happy.

…

Summer picked up her cell phone on the first ring when Seth's name flashed on the front screen, giving herself a split second to take a deep breath before picking up, grinning. "Seth!"

He smiled into the phone. "Thank God you're there, Sum. I already miss you—"

"Me too," she filled in. She sat cross-legged on her bed, and if she listened carefully, she could hear Audrey's deep breathing from across the hall, signifying that she was asleep. "How's London? It must be so late there right now…"

"It's okay," Seth scowled. "Rainy. Dreary. I'm jet lagged. And mostly…you're not here."

Summer shivered as she imagined what it would be like to be there with him. She knew it was impossible, but she hadn't been to London since she was a little girl—eleven or twelve, probably. And she certainly hadn't traveled at all in years. The last time she'd been on a plane was coming back from Providence after breaking up with Seth the first time around, defeated and miserable. "I miss you, baby."

"This is so hard," Seth replied, voice full of honesty. "I never thought that I would feel this way so fast. But Summer, I—I love you."

"I love you too," Summer responded, blushing though nobody was there to notice. When he said that, it made her tingle all the way up her spine. "So guess what Audrey and me did for dinner tonight?"

Seth laughed, happy to be engrossed in the trivialities of her day after his, which had been full with dull meetings and appointments with boring middle-aged clients. "Pizza?"

"No," Summer smirked.

"Um…macaroni and cheese?"

"You really think I can't cook, huh?"

"Never said that!" Seth defended himself. "So what did you do?"

"Thai," Summer began. She noted his surprised noise on the other end. "At your parents' house."

"You were at my mom and dad's?" Seth asked, shocked.

"Yep," Summer said. "You're okay with that, right?"

"Summer, of course I am! That's great! I bet they were so happy to see you, and Audrey…my mom has missed you, Sum, really she has." Seth was proud of the way everything was coming together after he had worked so hard to get Summer to move back to Newport and allow Audrey to settle into her new life.

"It was amazing, Cohen. Your family was—it was like my only family, in high school, you know?" Summer sighed. "I'm just glad everything is okay now. Well, it will be okay, once you get your little ass back home. I am all alone in this huge bed…"

Seth closed his eyes and groaned. She was teasing him, he knew that, but it didn't make the longing to be in that bed with her any easier to handle. "I honestly don't how I'm going to make it through this trip without you. I wish you were right here with me."

"I know, Cohen," she sighed. "But it'll be over soon. Nine days, right?"

"Nine days," he agreed, somewhat defeated. Since she had become a major part of his life again, he had been so involved with her life and Audrey's that he didn't realize how hard and painful it was to be without them. "Tell Audrey I miss her, okay?"

Summer grinned. "I will. Tell my boyfriend I sort of miss him too."

"I'll pass the message along," Seth promised jokingly. They said their I love you's and hung up, each on separate continents, preparing to spend the night alone.

…

"Hi, honey!" Kirsten greeted as Summer opened the front door to reveal Seth's mother. "I know I'm a little early—"

"Oh, please," Summer eschewed Kirsten's objection. "Come on in. Audrey is just eating breakfast."

"Hello, Audrey," Kirsten smiled, laughing slightly at the sight of Audrey, her hair all over the place, biting into a bagel. She had always wanted her own daughter, and when she looked at the bright, sunny kitchen she had raised Seth and later Ryan in, it brought back sharp, poignant memories of her mornings there with the boys. She remembered tired Ryan stumbling in for a cup of coffee when they still weren't sure if he was going to stay; Sandy dutifully teaching him the art of the schmear. She remembered Seth's constant witticisms over orange juice. Sandy wandering in wearing board shorts and carrying a dripping surf board, masterfully halving their favorite breakfast item with their famed bagel slicer. Mornings in the Cohen household were family moments, they were sacred, and they belonged to them. She had loved those mornings, and she couldn't believe that now Summer was in her kitchen with her own little girl, the passage of time so blatantly apparent in the changes that had occurred.

"Hi, Kirsten!" Audrey exclaimed, happily jumping off her stool to give the older woman a hug. Kirsten hugged the little girl back, enjoying being around the cheery, lively, and vivacious girl. She was a mini-Summer, truly and completely. "Happy morning!"

"Happy morning to you, too," Kirsten laughed lovingly.

"Bagel?" Summer offered, concealing a grin, pointing to the bowl of assorted bagels on the kitchen counter. "I've heard they're a specialty around here."

"I'll try one," Kirsten chuckled, taking one and spreading it with the cream cheese on the table. "Audrey, do you know what this is?"

"Cream cheese!"

"Yes," Kirsten nodded. "But in this house, we call it 'schmear'."

"Schmear?" Audrey tried out the new vocabulary, confused with its foreignness.

"Yep," Kirsten laughed at Audrey's expression, the little girl's face full of wonder, so unaware that she was being handed a piece of legacy and of tradition. It was trivial, their bagel mornings, but it had become the foundation for their family, and when Kirsten thought of her children, now grown-up, she could with assurance say that their family and its foundation had been a success. She was passing Audrey a little piece of everything the Cohens had been and had loved, and she could only hope that Summer's daughter would grow up with the love surrounding her that she deserved.

…

Kirsten and Summer dropped Audrey off at Harbor and continued on to South Coast Plaza, where Summer had spent countless afternoons with Marissa back in high school, trying to find the perfect jeans, the perfect dress, the perfect shoes. Money had been no limit then, and Summer knew that thanks to the handy piece of plastic Seth had gifted her, it was no limit now either. That wasn't to say she was going to take advantage of him, but she knew that if she spent a little on clothes, he would be thrilled. It wasn't that he was superficial or wanted to show her off, or anything like that—Seth wasn't that guy. It was more that he knew the important role clothes and fashion had played in her life once, and he knew that she could not be the same Summer unless she had at least the opportunity to be that old Summer in front of her. He had equipped her with that opportunity, and she appreciated his effort.

The two women perused the racks, selecting various pieces while giggling and gossiping, and Summer slowly began to feel like everything had reverted to that time years ago, when finding a cute dress at South Coast for homecoming or prom had been at the top of her mind. It felt like she had finally struck a balance between her first Newport life and her Los Angeles one. She didn't have to look at price tags obsessively, but she didn't have to try on every designer item in the store, either. And she liked that balance, liked the person she had finally become. She was finally at peace with her past and her future.

Summer left with two bags and a grin. They made it to Harbor just in time to pick up Audrey before the extended day care started, and as Summer, Kirsten, and Audrey informed one another about their days, each was enormously happy. Finally they pulled into the driveway at the house again.

"So, Summer—you have the plan all ready?"

"I just have to make the phone calls," Summer nodded, grinning and blushing.

"This is going to be great, sweetie. I'll see you later?"

"Yep," Summer nodded, hardly able to contain her excitement. "Bye, Kirsten!" Summer called as Kirsten drove off back to her own house.

Summer made Audrey's dinner—plain pasta, chicken, and carrot sticks, something even she could handle—that night with a mixture of longing and excitement. The next day would bring an onslaught of emotion, she knew that, but they were all good emotions, happy emotions, emotions she was ready for. She had spent years being thoughtful and organized and practical, and this was her turn to be slightly impractical and make sudden decisions and allow her life to be fast-paced and exciting. She was ready. Seth had allowed to her to realize that having a child didn't mean her life was over, didn't mean she had to change who she was or what she wanted. Especially what she wanted.

And in this case, all she wanted was Seth. She wanted him, all of him. She wanted the feeling of his legs entangled with hers, under a blanket and completely intentionally. She wanted his lips on hers, and hers on his, over and over again until they couldn't remember those years when their lips hadn't touched at all. She wanted her hand in his, swinging slightly while walking down a street. She wanted their eyes connecting, watching, gazing, staring—with nothing to hide. She wanted his arm around her waist, around her shoulders, holding her and protecting her and loving her, forever and always.

And in the style of the old Summer Roberts, the Summer Roberts she had been in high school—she was going to go and get what she wanted.


	12. New Soul

A/N: "New Soul" by Yael Naim is the song the title is named after. This is the last chapter. Thank you to all the readers who have stuck by this story and to all those who picked up as it continued. I have appreciated all the input so much. Still thinking about what the sequel will entail, but I'm pretty excited about what I am thinking about for it. I'll let you all know!

NEW SOUL

"Bye, baby," Summer said, smiling brightly but sadly, as she kissed Audrey's forehead for the last time. She had allowed her little daughter to stay up past her bedtime because of the special circumstances, plus she had had to pack both of them up and drive to Kirsten and Sandy's. "Have fun for me, okay?"

Audrey nodded dutifully, taking her assignment seriously. "Okay, mommy. I promise."

"And be good for Sandy and Kirsten."

"Of course I will, Mommy!" Audrey objected. "I _love _Sandy and Kirsten!"

Summer laughed. Audrey had always been quick to defend the ones she loved, and she had always been quick to start loving them to begin with. For example, in the two hours and seventeen minutes since Summer had explained the plan to Audrey, the little girl had asked Summer where Cohen was and when Cohen would be coming back countless times.

Summer had explained that he would be gone for another week, but so would she—Audrey would be staying with Sandy and Kirsten while she surprised Cohen a whole country and an ocean away. She was afraid Audrey would be upset by the news, but instead, her daughter was genuinely pleased, reporting that her mother was doing the right thing.

This cemented it for Summer. She had never been so sure in her life before.

"Bye Kirsten!" Summer called, as she opened the passenger door of Sandy's car, ready to be on her way. "I love you, Audrey!"

"Love you back, mom!" Audrey hollered, holding hands with Kirsten as the two waved until the car was down the driveway.

There was little traffic as Sandy drove her to LAX, which was both surprising and pleasing. Sandy made sure someone was helping her with her suitcase and hugged her goodbye before he drove back towards Orange County.

She went through security and the second round of security, and even her gate was somewhat nearby. She had time to peruse the newsstand and buy a snack, because airplane food was always disgusting. And then, while she was waiting to board the plane, she figured she might as well call Cohen. It was almost midnight, meaning it was morning in London, and hopefully she could catch him before his first meeting of the day.

Sure enough, he picked up on the second ring. She grinned automatically, unable to help it. "Seth!"

"I was just thinking about you," he replied earnestly, and she knew him well enough to know it wasn't some cutesy lie—he _had _been thinking about her. "I'm dying here, Sum."

"Me too," she said, pulling her best fake whisper on him. She was lying through her teeth, in fact, but she figured it was for the good of their relationship, or at least, it would be in the end. "I just—"

"I know," he cut in. He wasn't sure if he could handle being so far away if he knew that she was hurting, if she was sad or lonely or upset. "Is Audrey doing okay?"

"Missing you more than you would ever guess," Summer laughed lightly. "She asks about you constantly."

"Good to know I have a fan," Seth joked.

"Two fans, sitting in California, wishing you were with us," Summer promised, and at least she was telling the truth this time. Even if she was sitting in the airport, and in thirty-two minutes, if there was no delay, she'd be up in the skies, flying over America, towards England, closer to him every minute. "Audrey's shrieking upstairs, I have to run, okay?"

"Okay," he sighed, audibly disappointed. She couldn't help but feel a shiver of excitement, anticipating what his reaction would be when she showed up—at his hotel in London. "Love you, Sum."

"Love you too," she said sweetly. Finally the airport speakers blared, alerting her that her flight was boarding, so she got up, grabbed her coat, carry-on, and purse, and prepared to fly to England.

Seth sighed dejectedly as he made his way down the busy streets of London back to his hotel. It was a fairly long walk between the office building where he'd met with a few potential clients and his hotel, but he needed to clear his head before getting dressed and leaving for a business dinner. He traversed the narrow, busy sidewalks, wishing he were back in California, wishing he were with Summer and Audrey, because in all honesty, he was missing them terribly. He cared about the Newport Group, but not nearly enough to vindicate this awful ten-day-long trip.

He finally made it to his hotel, and after entering, his irritated state of mind was further incensed by a crowded lobby, long wait for the elevator, and annoying couple occupying the elevator, who talked loudly and held the door open to finish their conversation. Finally he made it up to his floor and room, sliding the plastic key into the door and opening it, exhaling in relief.

"Hi, Cohen."

Any words he might have had seemed to evaporate from his mouth when he saw her, perched amusedly on his bed, smirking, wearing the most gorgeous, Summer-like, striking red dress he had ever seen, and a pair of utterly sexy black heels. She wore makeup like she used to wear it—not to hide bruises, but to draw attention to her warm eyes; her perfect-shaped lips; her cheekbones.

But then, he thought she was beautiful no matter how she looked. He dropped his well-worn brown leather briefcase to the carpeted floor in utter shock at the sight before him.

She got up, walking slowly towards the entrance of the room, where he stood, frozen, shell-shocked. He could not believe she was in front of him. She loved the shock and confusion that were painted across his perfect face, loved that she could put emotions there, loved that she could ignite all sorts of emotions in the man she loved.

"I got sick of missing you," she offered in explanation, smiling impishly. "So I booked a flight, dropped off Aud with your mom and dad. All three seem thrilled with the arrangements."

Her words seemed slightly fuzzy as he listened to her speak, but he somehow understood everything she was saying. She reached one hand for his tie, loosening it and untying it, sliding it out of his collar and letting it slip from her hands and fall to the floor.

She continued, enjoying the effect she had on him—he, after all, was still silent. "I called your assistant, made sure I knew your schedule, cancelled your business dinner tonight, by the way—"

He grinned in amazement at all of it, everything she had done, and she worked on undoing the tiny top button of his crisp light blue button-down shirt. "But I made us new dinner reservations, just for the two of us, because I haven't been to London since I was like eleven and I wasn't going to fly all the way here to be with you and not see anything."

He grinned even bigger. There she was, the old Summer Roberts, with her attitude and her opinions and everything he had always loved about her, ever since she was eight-years-old and reading a poem about a mermaid and feeding the playground squirrels during recess.

"I planned it pretty well, if I do say so myself, because I was planning to just beg the hotel people to let me into your room, but the maid was here for turn-down service when I got here—and I just slid on in after her, pretending it was my room too. Pretty brilliant, huh?"

Her eyes glittered in his direction, and finally he was able to choke a few words out in response. "So brilliant, Summer." And then he grabbed her and kissed her, like he'd wanted to ever since he closed the taxi door in their driveway in Newport and she had waved goodbye. He put his hands tightly on her waist, accentuated by the perfect detailing of the red dress, and lifted her up and kissed her hard, with intention, with everything he had in him. Suddenly her legs were wrapped firmly around him, heels interlocking behind him. Her left hand was curled around his neck and her right was cradling his cheek; his hands supported her, sliding up her back—over her dress, thank you very much.

She opened her eyes slightly to make sure he could see the smile that was dancing across her face. He could. She wanted to make sure he knew everything she was feeling right now, the happiness and the excitement, and she didn't need to see him to know that he understood what she was feeling, because he felt the exact same way.

She broke away to whisper in his ear, her lips grazing it lightly: "You know, there just might be something else new underneath the dress."

He complied eagerly, leading them towards the bed, gently sitting them down on it. Everything went smoothly, perfectly, as though they were in a movie or some sort of dream sequence. He was still in shock and she was grinning happily and their eyes connected with the kind of love they knew they could never find with another soul. She turned so her back faced him and motioned for him to undo the zipper. Any other day, she would have been frustrated to spend all that time getting ready just to take the damn dress right off in the end, but this was special and perfect and exactly what she had intended when she got on the airplane headed to London. He slid the zipper slowly, more and more square inches of her smooth, silky skin becoming visible, and was inexplicably happy when he noticed her bruises and scars had all but disappeared. They were the last physical reminder of the pain she had suffered through, the long years of distress and loneliness and anguish and strife. The long years they had been apart, the years that he hadn't been by her side, the years they had not been together. He knew just as well as she did that those years and the horrifying memories would live on forever, in her head and in her heart, but he also knew that without seeing the bruises, and through living a happy and hopefully fulfilled life with him away from the pain, maybe those hard years could slowly fade into the past, and become something that didn't taint her every move, her every day. That was all he wished for, for her and for him and for them.

Finally the zipper was all the way down, and Seth realized, suddenly, as her dress slid off of her, that by "something new under the dress", Summer meant exactly what he had been thinking about—the disappearance of the bruises that had tortured her every day and had scarred him as soon as he'd seen them, those marks that had once marred her beautiful skin. She was new. She was whole again, she was fixed, and the days of pain and turbulence were over. He had discovered her secrets in L.A.—a stressed single mother caring for her only child, frustrated in a relationship abusive in too many ways, working through two strenuous jobs to attempt to support she and her daughter's existence. And now, her secrets were exposed, and she had come to peace with those hardships. _That _was what she meant by new.

When the dress was finally off, abandoned to the floor, he reveled in her beauty—she was Summer, the girl he had loved almost _forever_, or at least as long as he could remember. She was his first crush, his first kiss, his just about first everything. She was the first girl he had fallen in love with, first woman he had fallen in love with all over again. Her dress was off, her scars were healed, and something new under her dress was just her—her warm face smiling near his, itching to kiss him; her dark brown hair, covering her shoulders but leaving everything else exposed; her breasts and her waist and her stomach and her hips and her legs and everything else he had fallen in love with all those years ago. There she was, in all her glory, with the regained confidence and strength to go commando under her gorgeous new red dress, to let Seth unzip it and let her naked, perfect beauty be exposed to him. She was back, new and yet old, the Summer she had once been mixed with the Summer she had become.

And he loved her, he loved her more than he ever had, he loved her in a way that he didn't understand. He had never felt so strongly or passionately about anyone or anything, ever. It was all the feelings for her that he had accumulated over many, many years coming together into one surge of emotion, and he drew from that emotion as he made love to her all through the night, their dinner reservations forgotten as they sealed their powerful love, bonding them together for the rest of their lives, a silent vow to never be apart, in mind or in body, ever again.


End file.
